I woke up at 5:30AM today. It was quite honestly the most bizarre dream I’ve had in recent memory. What I can tell you right now while it’s fresh in my mind is I was in a forest-type environment, enclosed in a gargantuan sized castle or fort with one specific friend who’s name will not be mentioned.
We appeared to be drunk for some reason and then something scary occurred; we heard a knock at the gates. It was a familiar face and to be quite honest, never have I ever in my lifetime dreamed about her but today was finally the day and I cannot understand why.
She stood there at the front gate smiling, holding a box of green grapes for some odd reason. She offered them to me; I accepted them. It was at that same moment, my friend in the dream grabbed me and said “We have to go now!” So he began to run. I ran with him, leaving the gate open and the woman holding the grapes remained smiling as if she knew I would come back. As we were continuously running, my friend said “Don’t look back!” And my reply was Why are we running, whilst holding the green grapes in my hands. He proceeded with “I don’t know, but we’re drunk and we need to keep- holy shit, she’s coming! Run faster!” I wasn’t sure if he was fucking with me at the time but I had trust in him and still never looked back. However, I ran and ran and ran, still confused because I didn’t know what we were running from.
There was a brief moment where the setting of a forest and a castle faded away and I ended up at a gas station somehow. The store had candy so I was excited but in the dream, I was still tired so it could indicate I stopped at the gas station after running away with my friend.
As I stepped outside the gas station store, I had no candy and my friend was gone. I was alone, and for some reason I received Wi-Fi in this middle-of-nowhere location. What appeared on a screen blew me away. I received an Instagram notification which had the following comment:
“I know, ______ is bae😍”
For the sake of protecting the individual’s identity, I will not reveal whom it was. However, I can tell you this; in the dream I had the same smile that the woman had. In the middle of fucking nowhere and yet I was smiling at a screen like those people who read something cute and laugh in public. Then I woke up.
It occurred to me that I woke up thinking I was on good terms with the woman in my dream, but I wasn’t. Quite frankly, what disappointed me more than anything was waking up and not receiving that moment where one smiles after reading something cute. What I did receive however, was a sense of sadness. I believe I know why there was only one friend in my dream that appeared. I believe I know why we were running away after analyzing it over and over in my head while I was laying in bed this morning. I believe it was the universe’s way of telling me to stop avoiding things, to approach them and make peace with people whom I have left or have left me in the past. But I couldn’t.
Assuming the woman in my dream was chasing after me, it is a tad bit ironic that after I woke up, I wanted to follow her, on Twitter so to speak. After thinking about following the woman on Twitter for about a half hour, I came to the conclusion that I should and I can’t expect what could possibly happen next but hoped that I could make peace with her and clear things up. So I came across her Twitter page. I froze up in fear whilst starring at the follow button for about 5 minutes. Finally, I hit the follow button but an unexpected thing occurred; I was blocked. The same type of blocked notification that I once received from rapper Joe Budden, whom to this day has still not unblocked me, one of his biggest fans and supporters.
I sat up on my bed, my only thought was wow. This feeling was like finding out someone close to you has died, but I know she didn’t die, she just didn’t want me to follow her. But could this all mean something? If the woman was the one who was chasing after me, why can’t I chase back? Then I remembered a moment I had in reality with the friend in the dream. He once said that because of the actions he performed in the past, he was no longer a man but rather a coward. That was the only thought running through my mind and it got my heart racing at an incredible speed. I guess this is where I state that my anxiety got the best of me because I began to hate myself for what I did in my past.
Before I conclude this blog post about my dream, I want to state that if the woman in my dream is reading this somehow, understand that I never wanted things to end the way they did and I’m sorry for writing nasty things about you (some in which I haven’t posted here because it’s too cynical) but it was my way of expressing emotions that couldn’t be expressed any other way. You might be out of my life and I know you will become a successor one day and when you do, I might find you and perhaps then we can make peace. I will let this go for now and needless to say, I have the most unusual craving for green grapes.
Hey guys, so I just wanted to let you know something important about this blog post. A week after I posted this, the girl in this dream texted me in real life and apparently she found out about this blog post. She said that someone told her that I wanted to talk to her, which was true obviously. However, the identity of this person was never revealed after I conversed with the girl in the dream. Even though I think it’s shady as fuck that someone had the audacity to talk about me behind my back, whoever told the girl in my dream that I wanted to talk to her, I thank you. I thank you because that day when she texted me, we cleared everything up. I told her every single thing that I ever wanted to say, with no remorse nor regret. She did the same. Nevertheless, I believe I am truly blessed that I am not with her right now, because she’s still the same yet I have grown. But, we did make peace and I am grateful for it. That week, instead of finishing a chapter, I finally closed the book on that girl and needless to say, I can live my life from here on with the closure that I so desperately deserved. In conclusion, The Green Grapes Dream blog post unexpectedly changed and saved my life.
P.S. I no longer have a craving for green grapes 😉