51) “It Happened Again”

51) It Happened Again
By: Johnny Blaze

[Verse 1:]
Okay lets turn matters for the worse
Last Thursday evening after arriving home from eating some munchies,
My street flooded again; and it was fuckin’ ugly
As I looked out from my bedroom window,
I seen my Godfather out there and the wind blowed
I was wearing nothin’ but Champs shorts, a Romero gym shirt and Nike flip-flops
I flopped downstairs, opened the door, and wished the flood stopped
I went to my driveway because that’s where my Godfather was at
This nasty ass water had me screaming out Fack!
How did it feel? Well, imagine taking the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge but the icy water only came from the feet up
I mean it was damn freezing; my neighbour was snapping in Portuguese bruh!
I was stoned cold, no Steve Austin but I was stunna
Looked up in the sky, lightning flashed, sounded like the clouds were shooting three sixteens, man fuck this thunda
The rain was dripping down my wavy hair
My brother was looking on from the front door and he looked concerned but later on, I’ll tell you how he proved he didn’t care
This was weird
I headed towards my next door neighbour’s driveway
Seen a green bin and thought I should save this, so I put it a-way
But this neighbour lady trolled me, she said “That bin is yours”
Whore, she explicitly lied and it wasn’t ours, but I brushed it off and ignored
Because why argue when one, I’m stoned
Two, there’s a war going on outside nobody safe from
And three, I actually desperately needed to pee

[Verse 2:]
We went to the back
My cousin set up a defense mechanism so the water wouldn’t attack
I cleared the drain as much as I could
I can actually hear people screaming from around the neighbourhood
Thunder, thunder, thunder…
I snapped out of this trance,
Realized I wasn’t wearing any pants
Walked cautiously through the driveway, helped my family set up some bricks
Holy shit, looked like Hurricane Katrina hit this bitch
‘Cause the streets were cold fam
Looked like an over flooded beaver dam
Headed inside and went downstairs
My cousin handed me a towel, so I dried my hair
We talked about the situation briefly
Only way to deal with this is to drink G
And my brother looked sleepy
So he went back upstairs like a sloth
Fuck that guy, hope he chokes on a fuckin’ cock

[Verse 3:]
Meanwhile, my cousin and I were already in the basement
He said, “All I got is red wine; it’s homemade, you wanna try?”
I was fried, no lie, but I was thirsty so I poured the both of us a glass and to my surprise,
I liked it, sipped it slow, feelin’ old,
Then I noticed there’s water on the floor
But where did it come from?
The laundry room was open, but there was nothing wrong son!
It appeared that it was coming from behind the couch
I thought I was trippin’ from the weed which was the same colour as Oscar The Grouch
This was bizarre, there was no proof of how this came about
So I acted on my only instinct
Ran upstairs and got a big mop
My brother was like “Where you going?”
I said Downstairs fool, the basement is wet
He didn’t even give a fuck, continued watching the game, probably because he made a bet
I was a little upset
This is our home
How can you just not care or contribute to what’s going on?
I should have this guy whacked like I’m a Sicilian Don
Or have him chopped up and thrown into soup like Wonton
Sorry I’m getting off track
In the basement, we mopped the floors for hours whilst taking wine sips son,
In addition, we were also watching The Simpsons
Then finally that was it, done!
We even finished the rest of the wine
Though keep in mind, there was only half a jug left
It was getting late, I was feeling wavey so I shlept
Sike!
Went to bed, but didn’t sleep at night
Instead I hit up this girl whom I used to be acquainted with
And I went straight to the point, no time to walk down the red carpet like I’m at TIFF
I don’t remember much of what I wrote that night
I haven’t even re-read the convo either, reckless like Yeezus; I’m on sight
What does that mean? Who cares man
All I know is on October 16th, it happened again

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