E= DLP

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E= DLP is a new way to dissect lines from my personal pieces of writing. Think of this, as the Genius part of my blog.

I’ll be decoding my past writing here on this page, starting from the oldest to whatever is the newest shit released. So enough of this intro, let’s get to it!

E= DLP #3: 27) “Bound 2”

[Hook:]
Bound to fall in love
Bound to fall in love (Uh-huh, honey)


[Bridge 1: Johnny Blaze]
All them other boys’ lame, and you know it now
When you meet a real man he’ll never let you down,
Bound


   These are words said to an old elementary school acquaintance. We reconnected when she broke up with her boyfriend after three years of being together. This is me giving her some words of encouragement.


[Hook:]
Bound to fall in love
Bound to fall in love (Uh-huh, honey)


[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze]
What you doin’ at school? Working on the year book?
A tough task indeed, no need to feel shook
You living happy but still feeling stressed out,
Fuck the dude that hurt you, he’s the one that’s missing out!


   Typical small talk. “What you doin’?” “Working?” This girl’s feeling stressed, trying to wrap up her yearbook project for school, all while trying to move forward from her break up. She’s tough.


I know you’ve been dating him for years now
Three years seems longer than Drake’s eyebrow


Drake's eyebrows

LOOK @ HOW LONG THEY ARE


Left the guy now he’s gotta reroute
Bite the tongue; no bad words from thee mouth


   She left him and I have nothing bad to say about the dude and even if I did, I would “Bite the tongue” and keep my mouth shut, for argument’s sake.


A home doesn’t need to be a nice house


   Yeah, it really doesn’t man.


I need a vacation, somewhere far, maybe south


How you gon’ tell me why my life’s bad?
Fuck you I never needed you in my life Dad!


   I can’t remember why I was so upset with him. He’s the hardest working man I know and I owe him my life. Sorry Papa.


Uh, this that bomb shit
This that “Why you smoking, thought you were done?” shit
This that clean your pipe once you smoked a bowl shit


Got a new friend, frig off to the old bitch


   I was appreciative that I had made a new friend with this ol’ elementary acquaintance. This was also a dig to RAGE for abandoning me.


[Bridge 2: Charlie Wilson & Johnny Blaze:]

[Charlie Wilson:]
I know, you’re tired, of loving, of loving,
With nobody to love, nobody, nobody (Uh-huh, honey)


[Johnny Blaze:]
Close your eyes and let the song keep you peaceful,
One good friend is worth a thousand people
Bound


   This is one of my most thought out lines written. It paints a picture for everyone and also ignites a provoking idea: 1 > 1000


[Hook:]
Bound to fall in love
Bound to fall in love (Uh-huh, honey)


[Verse 2: Johnny Blaze]
I wanna be there for you no matter what
Whenever you’re feeling down, I’ll bring you up


   Look, it’s no secret. People who read my blog should know by now, I’m fuckin’ sensitive; facts. When I build bonds with other humans, I become more sensitive; more caring. It’s a gift; it’s a curse.


I think that you’re so damn cool,
I mean damn we went to ele, elementary school


Hey, you remember where we first met?
I thought, you were emo don’t get upset
But hey, your nails I couldn’t forget
‘Cause you scratched me but you weren’t a threat


   We first met at recess in elementary school. She was new to the school at the time and kids were talking about the new “emo girl.” I’m not sure how it happened, but I remember being chased by her one time during recess and she’s hella quick cousin. Girl caught up to me and sunk her nails into my back, like a back rake move in pro-wrestling.


And I know, you never liked ______ yet,
That girl, is someone who just jet


   “______” refers to my first love from Power Trip.


But hey, not all relationships are perfect


And hey yo, we made it through a break up
So hey, maybe we shouldn’t think much
We doin’ good, we came clutch


   Back to having a conversation with this new friend. It’s me saying to her look, you ended a relationship, my relationship ended, yet somehow, we found each other and now we got each other’s backs–or at least, I had hers..


I’ll ask you what you want in life
Have you ever thought about being a loving wife?
Maybe, I’ll be a good husband one day,
But first, the woman in my life has to stay


   Now I’m getting serious with her; asking her what does she truly want out of this life, thinking about the future, and if she sees herself married. Then I flip it, and wonder if I’ll get married and if I’ll be good enough for someone to settle down with, which is why I say, “But first, the woman in my life has to stay.” There’s always doubt; anything can change in an instant.


After, everything is said and done,
I can honestly say you’re the realest out of everyone


   I’ll admit, this is quite the clingy line; I tend to jump to conclusions. Assuming that because I had her back, she had mine, which was naive and yet I went on and said “you’re the realest,” but anyone can be the realest. They just have to be honest with themselves and with others.


[Bridge 2: Charlie Wilson & Johnny Blaze:]
And I know, you’re tired, of loving, of loving
With nobody to love, nobody, nobody
So just grab, somebody, no leaving this party
With nobody to love, nobody, nobody (Uh-huh, honey)

[Johnny Blaze:]
Johnny Blaze on the mic, have a goodnight,
Johnny Blaze on the mic, have a goodnight,
Bound


[Hook:]
Bound to fall in love
Bound to fall in love (Uh-huh, honey)


   Despite our hard times getting over our individual break ups, the hook feels like it’s the one now giving us, the words of encouragement. Her and I are, “bound to fall in love” again, though it may not be with each other, we will fall in love with other people but there’s no cheat code to figure out if the love we get, is the love we deserve…

Wallflower

Word to Mr. Anderson


 

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E= DLP #2: 26) “All I Want Is You”


[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze]
Damn, you gone cold man,
I never thought I’d see the day that we’d be friends man,
Now I’m pondering how we got old man,
Known you for more than one, more than two,
More than three, four, years man
Vato Loco since the beginning of time,
“Don’t worry, it’s okay,” you told me, “It’s alright”
Then you forgot about the homies,
Forgot about the homies,
How could you leave me and have me feelin’ so lonely?


   This verse is a reflection of sorts. It’s about my relationship with an old friend, who I will refer to as “RAGE” for your convenience. I’ve known RAGE since kindergarden. Back then, she would pick on me, which is where the, “never thought I’d see the day we’d be friends” line came from, which transitions into, “now I’m pondering how we got old” because it’s wild how time passes you and things change.

   “Vato Loco since the beginning of time,” Vatos Locos was my group of friends from about grade five to grade eleven I would say. Nothing gang related, I promise. The name came from one of my all-time favourite movies, Blood In Blood Out: Bound by Honor:

Protagonist Miklo Velka throwing up the Vatos Locos Forever hand sign

At the time, all I ever wanted was a group of close knit friends that I could call family, much like the family bond displayed in the movie.

There was a period in RAGE and I’s friendship where things drifted. I upset her by telling her my honest opinion of her boyfriend and would apologize for making her feel bad. She’s the one saying, Don’t worry, it’s okay… It’s alright.” In reality however, she was mad.

   “Then you forgot about the homies, forgot about the homies, how could you leave me and have me feelin’ so lonely?” RAGE was angry. She started to distance herself from not only me but from the Vatos too. There was a feeling of abandonment inside me and it sucked.


[Verse 2: Miguel]
I wonder sometimes,
I wonder if I, was wrong
Tryna do right by you got me here
Now all I am is alone


   Miguel actually supports how I felt back then with those four particular lines.


‘Cause her eyes,
And those hips,
And that (ass),
Don’t compare, at all (no)
And at, best, all they do is distract me but now, deep down, when I face it,


   Haha, except this part. I never looked at RAGE as someone I was infatuated with. She was more of a little sister from another mister.


[Hook: Miguel]
All I want is you
All I want is you (now)
All I want is you now
Now that you’re gone, gone, gone


   All I wanted was for RAGE to be my friend again, that’s the whole point.


[Verse 3: Miguel]
‘Cause being your friend, was killing me softly
Hear voices, wondering where I went wrong
It was my fault, in the wrong time,
I wonder so often, regret gets exhausting


   Miguel puts the right words together to capture how I felt: “It was my fault, in the wrong time, I wonder so often, regret gets exhausting.” RAGE was one of my best friends at the time and not being able to go to her, sucked donkey dick. It was indeed exhausting and quite frustrating.


‘Cause her eyes,
And those hips,
And that (ass),
Don’t compare, at all (no)
And at best, all they do is distract me but now, deep down, when I face it,

[Hook: Miguel] (x2)
All I want is you (mhm)
All I want is you (now)
All I want is you now (sugar)
Now that you’re gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

[Bridge: Miguel]
‘Cause they don’t smile,
Or smell like you


No they don’t make me laugh,
Or even cook like you


   Yeah she was a funny ass girl. For the time we were friends, she and I made each other laugh often, feeding off each other’s humour usually, and holy cow! She would bake the BOMB-EST cupcakes:

RAGE’s homemade cupcakes had me like


And they don’t photograph,
Nah, they don’t sex like you
Let’s face it, I can’t replace it
That’s why all I want is you now…


[Verse 4: Johnny Blaze]
I wake up in the morning and think What happened?
Trying to find the answers; Kanye West
You flew like planes, no joke, you jet
Was our friendship, something that, you regret?


   There were a lot of days were I would wake up in the morning and feel empty, as if asking myself: “Damn, how did things switch up so fast?” 

“You flew like planes, no joke, you jet, was our friendship, something that, you regret?” When RAGE wasn’t on speaking terms with the Vatos, it felt like she went on a plane and escaped from us for her own benefit. Had me wondering: “Was I really a shit friend? Does she hate me so much that she regrets being friends with me all together?”


And can we intertwine?
You found someone that these plain bitches couldn’t find,
Is it possible that you’ll get married in due time?


   A common theme that occurred in Vatos Locos, was whenever one of us got into a relationship with someone outside of our clique, there always seemed to be friction going on within our group. When RAGE was in the early stages of her first serious relationship, the Vatos tried our best to accept and support RAGE and her boyfriend’s relationship. The dude was cool, calm and collective. Rare type of human, so much so that I think RAGE scored when she began dating him compared to other girls at her school dating him. RAGE and her boyfriend were inseparable, like a newly wed couple.


I knew you were the wifey type, baking sweet cupcakes,
You discovered a new life, better find your love Drake


   At this point, I realize: “Hey, perhaps she’s really in love with this dude,” hence, she found her love; very Drake.


I say I’m sorry, you say “It’s alright”
Damn, said it with sincerity, why ain’t we tight?
I thought we were homies,
Yet you really low-blowed me,
Like an attitude of hatred


   Looking at this part right here, I can see now how insensitive I was. As if apologizing was enough to heal a friendship, not yet realizing that whatever I said about her boyfriend, had hit her to her core and couldn’t be fixed by saying “sorry.” I reiterate the “It’s alright” line that she said in the first verse to highlight that now she’s saying “It’s alright!” expressing the tone that she’s heard enough of my sorries and has had enough of my shit.

   “I thought we were homies, yet you really low-blowed me, like an attitude of hatred” The low-blow line wasn’t in the original. I changed it because it used to include Youforia’s real name (see E= DLP #1). Ironically, though I say: “you really low-blowed me” it’s probably how RAGE felt when I said what I said about her boyfriend.


Look at your life now
Just betrayin’,
You don’t wanna be friends, come to me and say it


   Like many things in life, we go through stages of emotions when it comes to people we care about. At the beginning of verse one, I was disappointed and confused as to why RAGE was being distant. The start of verse four reveals questions going on in my mind which leads to now. Now I’m fuelled. I’m frustrated. I want things to be how it used to be; Vatos Locos Forever type of thing. This is why I accuse RAGE of “betrayin'” because it felt like she turned her back on Vatos Locos without ever coming up to me and saying, “Hey, I don’t think we should be friends no more” type of scenario. She just decided “fuck ’em” I guess.


I’m displayin’,
My thoughts on this paper like I write for real


  So here we are, the cup has runneth over. My frustrations have spilled everywhere and now I’m doing the ol’ self deprecating thing, where I’m totally sweeping the idea of being a real writer under the rug.


I’m sayin’,
Before I promised you that I would never leave,
I loved you like a Sister; don’t ever disbelieve


   My favourite line in this piece. I made a promise to RAGE that I would never leave her side, be there for her when she needs me to be, which in my defence, I have, since she is the one who decided “Nope, fuck this white boy, I’m out” and not me. Despite all this, I did in fact love RAGE. If you’re lucky enough, you will meet people who you easily click with and as that friendship grows, so will the bond. This bond we shared, felt real. When you look at someone as a little sister that you never had, you will do whatever it takes to make sure that nobody hurts them; you protect them. Not because they’re fragile, nay, protect them because you love them and when you love someone, you go out of your way to make sure they’re alright but, I guess I failed in that department. Perhaps I was hurting more than helping…


[Outro: Miguel]
That’s why
All I want is you now (mhhm)
All I want is you now (yeah)
All I want is you now (sugar)
Now that you’re gone, gone, gone, gone
You know that you’re gone (I want you back)


E= DLP #1: 12) “Power Trip (Dreams Pt.2)”


[Hook 1: J. Cole]
Got me up all night, all I’m singin’ is love songs
She got me up all night, constant drinkin’ and love songs
She got me up all night, down and out with these love songs
She got me up all night, drownin’ out with these love songs
She got me up all night, (yeah) all I’m singin’ is love songs
She got me up all night, (yeah) constant drinkin’ and love songs
She got me up all night, (yeah) down and out with these love songs
She got me open all night, (uh-huh) got me open all night (hey)


[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze]
Okay, back when I was in love with my neighbour’s niece,
And even back when I still had my heart at peace
The pain used to hurt,
Thought I was cursed,
No love found, but I found weed so it worked 


   When I was in the seventh grade, there was this new girl at my school. She was a standout not only because she was a fresh face but because she seemed more collected than the other girls. I’m walking home one day, I look across the street and my neighbour’s son was just coming home too, however, he was accompanied by the new girl. Turns out they cousins. What are the odds right? Fast forward to beginning of eighth grade, we ended up dating whatever that mean’t back then, and, I was convinced this was my first love. She ended up moving out of the city during the Fall and, I was hurt by a girl for the first time. Thought, “This just had to happen to somebody like me huh? Can’t fall in love without some shit going down.”

   So the Power Trip story begins before I had met my first love, before I would get broken hearted and plants the seed of this reality, that my coping mechanism for misery would become, marijuana.


We had a thing, who knew?
I even wrote the song Dreams for you,
Dreamed that my dreams were true,
Inception like I leaned on you,


   That first line is me being a smart ass. My relationship with the new girl was pretty well known. My first kiss was recorded in front of majority of my classmates, crowded around us while it was raining mind you. The first song I ever wrote titled Dreams, was in fact, about my first love. I never published that one, mainly because some things you just gotta keep close to your heart.

   “Dreamed that my dreams were true.” After she had left, I spent the first few months, kinda lost. I vividly remember sitting in the back of my eighth grade classroom zoning out and just daydreaming about her, specifically unrealistic scenarios where she would walk down the hallway and re-enter the classroom, as if she had comeback for me.

   “Inception like I leaned on you.” Honestly, the feeling of needing someone in order to not feel lost, had hit me in such an unfamiliar way. I thought the scene from Inception where the walls start leaning against each other was the perfect way to describe my need to lean on her for comfort:

inception

Scene from Inception


Stupid shit, some stupid shit,
Never let go,
I was so stupid, shit


Now a Vato got stronger, took a power trip,
I was alone for awhile, but I’m good, I’m grown now,
And, to the same bitches who used to poke fun at me,
Life got better ’cause I was finally happy
And I met someone I was feelin’ euphoric,
Oh, you should know, I learned to ignore it


   “I was alone for awhile, but I’m good, I’m grown now.” It came down to the point where being depressed that I couldn’t see her anymore, wasn’t serving any justice for my health. I eventually had to accept the fact there was nothing I could do about the situation so like the saying goes, “Man up!”

   “And, to the same bitches who used to poke fun at me,” In elementary school, I was picked on a lot for the size of my head by both boys and girls. Calling me names like “Football head,” “Hey Arnold,” “Stewie Griffin,” “Watermelon Head” or more notoriously, “Big Head.” I was picked on so much, that it had subconsciously made me believe nobody would wanna be with me, since I’m just some circus freak to them.

   “Life got better ’cause I was finally happy,” came from the perspective that despite my first love moving out of the city, I would later find a new person who made me happy or whatever my idea of happiness was at the time. Being with this new lover made me feel euphoric. I even gave her the nickname Youforia; an idea that came from the Mac Miller song, Youforia:


   “Oh, you should know, I learned to ignore it,” is me being passive-aggressive, taking back the fact that even the relationship with my new lover, didn’t end so well.


But, I’m doin’ me, I’m doin’ me,
My drink spilled on me, I should change my tee
I’m saying…

[Hook 2: Miguel & J. Cole]

[Miguel:]
Would you believe me if I said I’m in love?
Baby, I want you to want me
Would you believe me if I said I’m in love?
Baby, I want ya

[J. Cole:]
And we are, we are, we are
Got me up all night
And we are, we are, we are
All I’m singin’ is love songs
And we are, we are, we are
Got me up all night
And we are, we are, we are
She got me
And we are, we are, we are
She got me

[Verse 2: Johnny Blaze]
Well this has got to be the dumbest crush ever,
If I could ever change the earth, I would definitely change the weather
Love is evol/evil, I’m reversing the letters but,
Fuck it, I’m on one, you feel me?


I’m on a power trip, I like it where I stand,
Expressing myself was always the plan
Like, give me twenty pages, pages,
Pen and patience, I could fill those pages, pages


   I’m basically saying, you give me twenty blank pages, a pen in hand and some patience in mind, I’m confident that I have the power to fill up all, twenty of those pages with words that tell a story; my story.


But, I’m in my city just going through adolescence,
If I was a teacher, don’t question why I add a lesson


Can’t help but feel trapped in a pokéball each day,
Meanwhile you caught them all, such a cliché
Now typically I go for the ones that aren’t e-zay
And you got me freeze-framed,
You yellin’ “Please, kay?”
For Pete’s sake girl pull it together,
You fucked up one time, we’ll get through it however,


   “Can’t help but feel trapped in a pokéball each day,” This feeling of misery would chase me long enough for me to believe I was trapped; a prisoner to misery.

   “Now typically I go for the ones that aren’t e-zay” I don’t chase after “easy girls.” I chase the ones who are hard to figure out, the ones who seem to have something hiding behind their eyes.

 “And you got me freeze-framed,” There was a time where Youforia had opened up about something she had done and I felt like my world had been put on pause, kinda like a freeze-frame shot in film.

   “You yellin’ ‘Please, kay?'” is Youforia being upset, trying to say something along the lines of “Please, don’t be mad, I’m sorry” type of thing. That’s why I’m throwing my hands in the air so to speak, reacting like “Damn girl, get it together. You fucked up, ok, but we will get through this”


But…

[Hook 2: Miguel & J. Cole]

[Miguel:]
Would you believe me if I said I’m in love?
Baby, I want you, to want me
Would you believe me if I said I’m in love?
Baby, I want ya, yeah!

[J. Cole:]
And we are, we are, we are
Got me up all night
And we are, we are, we are
All I’m singin’ is love songs
And we are, we are, we are
Got me up all night
And we are, we are, we are
She got me
And we are, we are, we are
She got me

[Hook 1: J. Cole]
Got me up all night, (all night) all I’m singin’ is love songs
She got me up all night, (all night) constant drinkin’ and love songs
She got me up all night, (all night) down and out with these love songs
She got me up all night, (all night) drownin’ out with these love songs
She got me up all night, (yeah) all I’m singin’ is love songs
She got me up all night, (yeah) constant drinkin’ and love songs
She got me up all night, (yeah) down and out with these love songs
She got me open all night, (uh-huh) got me open all night (hey)

[Outro: Johnny Blaze]
Back when I was in love with my neighbour’s niece…