The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series

The Be Lazy And Zen Everyday Blog Post Series is a concept where every day for five days, Johnny Blaze publishes a new personal piece of writing from his Book of Rhymes.

74) “u”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series: The Girl Was Special, Special (lol)

74) u
By: Johnny Blaze

I fantasized about you last night in bed
It was me walking down my street,
No sign of police,
I don’t think I was high, holy!
I saw you hanging out with your Auntie, just out front on the veranda
So I immediately crossed the street and hugged you, might have been listening to Sweet Home Alabama
Ironic isn’t it? Maybe, but this lady,
Was my first love
My second kiss,
I held her snug
What are you doing here?
“Nothing much, just hanging out”
This doesn’t happen every day
I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk,
She said “Sure,” and for once I wasn’t stumped
We went to my favourite place to sesh
Innes Bridge; lowkey it’s the best
On a beautiful day, you should see the view from the,

And it was gorgeous
She acknowledged it, I hugged her again and she was all for it
This is the closest thing to happiness, If I died tomorrow, I can say I died in peace
She said “That was so cute”
I kissed her like she was my boo
I held her hand and we went to the other side
A walk down memory lane was on my mind
Brought her to the fence, where we would chill on this cement bench

We made out some more,
She sighed in grace leaned her head toward
-My shoulder, lets go older,
Walked her toward the exact spot where I asked her out and broke up with her

Then I got on one knee and said
Will you marry me?
Nah, it was a joke though,
Her laugh was cute and at the bench, we smoked some bowls oh,
Then we walked to the last spot where we kissed in the rain the day she left

So I decided to kiss her one last time and walked her to my house hopin’ for some sex
And that was the end


18) “Guilty Conscience”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series: The Prequel to “DLP Vs. Johnny Blaze” Special

18) Guilty Conscience
By: Johnny Blaze ft.Eminem 

[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze]
I woke up this morning with voices in my head
One was tellin’ me how last night with her was great,
The other was sayin’ how I gotta message the other girl before it’s too late
See lately I’ve been dealin’ with thoughts that aren’t easy,
So when I’m silent, I’m really schemin’
I foreshadow it being like,
When I’m with her, I’ll be thinkin’ ’bout the other girl,
And when I’m with the other girl, I’ll be thinkin’ ’bout her
Man no good can come from this
It’s Winter time so you know I’ll end up like the old me
Which means sad and lonely
It’s literally mind in one place, heart in another
Oh brother…

[Hook: Eminem]
These voices, these voices, I hear them
And when they talk I follow, I follow, I follow

[Verse 2: DLP & Johnny Blaze]

Stop the ignorance!
You’re fucking inconsiderate!
You got a great girlfriend!
You stupid fuck!
Don’t throw that away just to sleep with a stupid fuck!
And you wanna try your luck?
You shmuck!
If I was you I’d kill myself,
If I was you I’d,

[Johnny Blaze:]
-That’s enough of you DLP!
Why don’t chu go dream about her while I’ll be in bed with the other girl under my sheets!
No fuck it I need closure bro!
I loved the other girl but she never gave me closure, that hoe!
Who can blame me, have you seen the pictures?
She be grindin’ on her girls
That’s the type that’s willing to get witcha!
So I’mma take advantage
And if that makes me a bad person fuck it I’ll manage, I’ll manage!

[Hook: Eminem]
These voices, these voices, I hear them,
And when they talk I follow, I follow, I follow

[Verse 3: Johnny Blaze & DLP]

Well, well, look what the cat dragged in

Shut up

You knew this would happen

Seriously fuck off, I’m nappin’

No you ain’t
Wake the fuck up and lets talk about it
They both left you didn’t they?

Yeah, guess I couldn’t play
Thought I could hook up with the other girl and still date her
But I couldn’t, I’m truly not a player
You remained in the back of my mind
Tellin’ me “Don’t do it you know that’s a relationship crime!”

Interesting, continue your rhyme

In due time my conscious
I should’ve known all of this was non-sense
Man oh man, I made a mistake conscious, what do I do?

Allow me to enlighten you
Girls are nuts, they make a fuss
You get mad so you tend to cuss
Who would you rather fight and bicker with?
A random, inconsiderate who doesn’t know the difference between dreams and reality?
When in actuality, there must be a reason her and the other girl were brought to you
Give it some thought you fool!
It’s obvious the universe had this mapped out and at last (atlas) you figured it out
Try not to cry or pout,
I’mma let you know what it’s about
Move on and forget about both girls
Yes you loved them and they loved you,
But in order to truly make them happy,
Realize they don’t belong with chu


Settle down, let me finish
I’m almost near the fin, ish
Let me enlighten you, so focus
A wise man said when one door closes, another one opens
Therefore, you could reminisce over all the good times and bad times you had with these girls,
Or you could grow a set of bualls,
Go to school and run those halls!
Head to the washroom and piss in the stalls or even on the walls,
Witness your urine just fall
When the seasons change so will you
And yes Winter might always be bad luck for you, but Summer won’t
I mean you got a lot going for you when some people don’t
Remember, always keep your head up and know that YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE BETTER
Because you’re a great guy
People tell you all the time,
Just patiently wait ’til it’s nice weather

Whatever, you’re just the voice in my head,
I’m sorry DLP, but I think it’s time we go to bed

73) “What’s On Your Mind? (Pt. II)”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series: The Rhyme Special

73) What’s On Your Mind? (Pt. II)
By: Johnny Blaze ft.Kanye West & Nate Dogg

[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze]
I converted into an Introvert
Used to love company, now I just kick ’em to the curb
Seen this chick who looks like a pornstar that I wank to
You know what that means right?
That makes her a skank too!
Life for me is just weed and brews, weed and brews, weed and brews
And I’m a backpacker
Pat on the back ’cause my rap is delicious like the snack in my bag and I’m the answer that Kanye was coming after
Get plastered by this force
Do I really mean that? Of course!
‘Cause I’m lit for your love baby, lit for your love
Loading the smith, pull the trig’ all you hear is the slug
I was built to be strong,
My lungs could be iron and I love the first hit from a bong
So why don’t you just stay with me,
‘Cause weed is all I need
No really, weed is my therapy,
The air I breathe,
Helps me blossom like a cherry tree
I used to have a cherry but she didn’t cherish me,
And I would try not to be with Mary
But she still wouldn’t marry me
I’m just merry as can be
Just copped that new Big Sean CD,
So I be like,
Walk into my house with a quarter O,
Half of me wants to smoke the other half doesn’t know
If I blow up will I really accept the globe?
Or would I go toe-to-toe-to-toe-to-toe with “The Man” who tries to put on a show-for-show, and for sho’ people would say “Woah!”
I speak from my brain,
I write from my heart
I see the loose change,
Then I remember who I was from the start
Feelings were mutual
The decisions I made were crucial,
I fell from the top, I dust myself off,
I’m coming for the title
Number one contender like Shawn Michaels
So sweet your chin will feel the music
Like Triple H with no hair; you lose kid
This the game, and how you play it,
It’s all about control and if you can take it,
It’s all about,
-Hol’ up, had to clean my mouth
Silence the writer? Never that, I silenced you from going south
And where’s my thank you?
If you was my child, I would spank you
Disrespecting my craft, I live for this!
You nothin’ but a girl getting tailored, so I’ll Kanye you real swift
Oh my God, I’m plottin’, I’m schemin’
Fuck boys don’t know why I’m undefeated
And bitchez ain’t shit but hoes and tricks
They can lick their lips but only want to taste the tip
Then they suck on deez nuts!
So yeah, I was Snoopin’, no lion (lyin’), I’m zilla
Makes me happy that I’m doing better than you Ms. Heart-Killa

[Bridge: Kanye West]
“You ain’t got the answers
You ain’t got the answers Sway
You ain’t been doing the education
I am Shakespeare in the flesh
Walt Disney, Nike, Google
Let me create more
Or do you want to marginalize me ’till I’m out of my moment?
I am the number 1 most impactful artist of our generation
You ain’t got the answers man…

[Verse 2: Johnny Blaze]
I wear shades in the Winter
I get shade from people, they tend to turn away, guess it’s ’cause I’m different
But when Summer comes, I’ll look just like the rest of them
I spit on these copycats; coughing up some phlegm
But it’s not he that isn’t original,
He’s just an individual and I’m the modern day Einstein
My poetic imaginative cleverness maneuvers through your cerebral cortex and your mental,
That’s not coincidental
Hard to rub off your temple
Yeah five days a week I attend a Community College,
‘Cause I needed to get my cerebrum polished
Because basically, I want all the haters abolished
I will not fail, I will succeed
Flourish, nourish and refurbish
-Myself, without becoming skirmish
When I said I will become a great writer I wasn’t kidding
If I work for XXL Magazine or REVOLT TV,
And I get there because of a Bachelor’s of Journalism Degree,
I would forever, sever the feeling of being proud
And when my first article is published,
Let it be known that I did it all without being corrupted
That’s why my entire blog is one long monologue
And why my words are maktub and my attitude is nice like my hair when it’s shampooed
I refuse to be boohooed
So I guess I’m blessed ’cause my hands were meant
-To do this forever, and to my future endeavours,
A salute is due to my next rendevous

[Bridge: Johnny Blaze]
When it comes to being true, at least true to me,
One thing I found, one thing I found
I will never let me down

[Verse 3: Johnny Blaze]
Something extravagant has happened here
In front of me sits an old married couple and I guess they can’t hear…
See, they’re using sign language to communicate with each other, like a conversation
Got my shades on, blind to what’s around me, just can’t circle the circulation
The dude has white hair in a ponytail; groovy
The woman seems younger than him, they look like the kind to name their child Stewie
Crazy, this was all in front of me while on the bus
Don’t take your senses for granted,
You won’t regret it, trust
A wise girl once told me Thoughts and Thots will kill you,”
And what they will do is ’cause hell, la-di-da-di-da-di-do
Six whips, sadistic twist-the-nip shit,
50 Shades of “Would you like another one,” kink-tips
I’m SO Baked!
I feel great,
Mind in another world,
Soul seeking for sea lake,
Right mate?
Or Right Guy?
Then I proceed to pat “guy” on the back repeatedly,
My voice sounds like a mini-me,
And it’s a hard knock life, for Dave,
He smokes dope, every day,
He can’t seem to get away,
He can’t seem to get away,
It’s a hardknock,
-Woah, got in my Jay Z zone, fuck you FryHyde,
HOVA’s the man, he bangin’ Beyoncé in his Range Rover,
“Oh don’t do it,” Yah!
“Oh my God,”
Worldstar meets Vine,
Talking with a serious voice,
Wearing shades ’cause they’re blinds,
Must confess, these days I stress, like in the dayz of Mr. Ngu-yen,
Please, please oh no, don’t you try,
DLP and Johnny Blaze are both the same guys?

[Bridge: Nate Dogg & Johnny Blaze]

[Nate Dogg:]
Hold up! Ayyyy,

[Johnny Blaze:]
-Johnny Blaze is the man to be king,

[Outro: Johnny Blaze]
Fuck DLP, he like a low-life Eazy-E
Oh now I’m dissin’ Eazy b,
Writing on fleek to this dizzy beat
-By Dre, and okay,
You say I got to wait
In this city I don’t play,
Ms. Misleading doesn’t phase
What’s On Your Mind DLP? Please say!”
Fuck you, see me on “DLP Vs. Johnny Blaze”

*drops pen*

72) “Frieday the Thirsteenth”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series: The Night Special

72) Frieday the Thirsteenth
By: Johnny Blaze

[Verse 1:]
Woke up, late for school
No big deal, my teacher’s cool
Yeah, we call him “Matt,”
Facts: there was only 2 of us by the end of his second class,
-And, I found out I got a 85 on my law, 90 on my sociology tests,
Bet, I could continue the good grades like I’m on a roll
So now my goal is to be Honour Roll
Then I’ll proudly accept that honours scroll,
And get staff to take pictures of me, then I’ll show the globe
Via my blog, you guys are great,
Hope you liked my “i” song

[Verse 2:]
Earlier, received a text from Diego
Sorting out what we were gonna do bro,
So I met with him after school, soul!
We actually met by destiny,
I was putting on my headband then I see a mexican next to me
“Oh hey man”
Said the yung Chino,
We used to smoke dope and stay lowkey doe
“Sergio’s gonna be here soon,”
Sergio’s here?
He’s one of my peers, from High School too,
Nah, that’s my homie, but I’ll explain why he wanted to duel
We met with him at Gabbys; a bar so infamous to me
I mean there’s one by Dragon Beach, my school, and near GBC
This guy was drinking at the bar
Said Wazzap, shook hands, and this was just the start
Got our booth on lock,
Sergio’s feeling nice and Diego likes to taunt
Then “Jonathon” came
No, that’s not how it’s really spelled, but it’s funnier that way
The waitress surprisingly had the line of the day
“Do you want it smooth?”
Haha, neat
Her comedy was the biggest burn and that’s when Sergio felt defeat
Then Salinas came meanwhile, “Jonathon” was getting ready to eat
Sergio became a mobster
I was trying not to drink too much; staying zen, don’t want no problems
Occasionally, he would have a smoke to “take it easy, meng”
Then he would come back and do it again
Laughed so much my stomach felt like a ferris
Wise Hyde eating fries guy
He got caught with a steal
But anyways, we eventually left to go to the “Fuego Latino” event held at GBC
The poster read “Pupusas, empanadas, churros and more for free!
So we were convinced instantly
The line was butt
Security would check your belongings and might even lift your nuts
Some ma’fuckin’ crazy shit right?
We were drunk, hungry,
I was stoned and then it became night

[Verse 3:]
We got in finally and naturally,
We put my belongings away so that they wouldn’t confiscate my Ashley
Turns out the food wasn’t even ready; they slacked
So FryHyde went to go get my bag
Salinas said we could go to Erick’s;
Jayman was gonna be there, gotta smoke
-With him, and his sister quit smoking dope
She’s focused on taking notes
A C.O is what she hopes
-To be, and we even made a LCBO run
Got that Moosehead, Proof, and we were sprung!
Well I was because I was excited to hit a bong, which I did
Because the day was long, and my friends were arguing like kids
FryHyde made Sergio’s ear numb
Then for the rest of the day, he complained about his ear drum
We got to back to Erick’s
I reenacted the JAWS theme song and Jayman was hysteric
-cally laughing,
And finally Sergio wasn’t trying to get at me
I ripped a bong and my lungs were relaxed like a girl in a thong
Then I hit the Volcano
Deeeecent, 100% THC bro!
I was baked,
Played DBZ on the Vita; I was flying mate!
We went to grab some shawarmas,
I was feeling nice from the marijuana
Then we decided it was time to go home uh,
But we forgot our stuff at Erick’s place
We went back and then I realized my shades weren’t on my face
The trip home was a trip yo
Walked home from Weston,
No buses in sight; what a recession
There was food on my table,
It was 1:02AM, am I able
-To eat this or will I shleep watching cable?
I did, and I did!
I guess you could say, Friday we got Fried, aye?
And we were thirsty on this thirteenth of March

Frieday the Thirsteenth

65) “Misery Loves Company”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series: The Day Special

65) Misery Loves Company
By: Johnny Blaze

Misery loves company,
That’s why it always comes for me
Sitting on this bench,
Beer in my hand ’cause I’m stressed
Guess, why I’m strugglin’?
For one, my Moms is constantly buggin’
Two, I got bills to pay; true
Three, still haven’t applied to College; eee…
Four, I could probably think of more
But why waste paper?
I got more friends than haters
I got more views than a single clue at what I’m gonna do,
-With my life,
That’s why I write,
My only outlet, it will be here when weed’s not,
Thinking How will I get my shit together?
I need to stop,
And roll
A doobie? Ou wee!
Can I share with a girl? Have her livin’ a little loosely?
Excuse me, I gotz to turn the page,
Literally and metaphorically
*Pauses to take a sip from beer can*
I’m here man!
Wish I had more cash, more booze,
Might not be able to stand!
I slam women in writing ’cause I’m a loser, I’m not exciting
Just a quiet kid, long blonde hair,
I listen to Rap a lot; I constantly swear
Where, am I right now?
Toke Park, a kid wearing a Kanye-style mask,
Just passed by like a cat meows
Gonna see Damieow
And Dee-aye-geoo too,
Like Goku, I got two
-Balls, really want a bitch to suck them all
Ew, my verses just got dirty like Ol’ Bastard
But I know she’ll be on her knees and calling me “Master”
Nah, but in all seriousness,
I need to “Finish, It!”
Need to go to school and get good grades,
But I’ll probably go home and play as The Alliance; that’s Ryback and Johnny Blaze

48) “B.L.A.Z.E. (Be Lazy And Zen Everyday)”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series Day 5 (The Final Day)

48) B.L.A.Z.E. (Be Lazy And Zen Everyday)
By: Johnny Blaze

[Verse 1:]
I’ve been broke for far too long,
Now I’m liftin’ my money up, yeah, feeling so damn strong
They say when you prosper, the only way to go is up,
So I decided as of this moment, my only goal is to not suck
And to not fuck
-Around with those other clowns that make you feel like,
So weird, might
add that, everybody is lazy in some ways more than others
For instance when I come home, I swear all I want to do is kick my brother
But I don’t to avoid noise from my mother
‘Cause I respect her too much, I would never think I’m above her
That goes out to everyone reading this post
Hope you realize your mom is the one who brought you into this world; that’s not a joke
Be lazy and zen everyday
I know I will, ma’fucka I’m gettin’ paid!

[Verse 2:]
They gon’ ask, “How you stay zen Johnny?”
First off, music helps,
Try listening to Erykah Badu, she will guide you; recuperate yourself
“Your energy,
Feels so damn good to me
It picks me up, don’t wanna come down, you got me spinnin’ all around”

Words so beautifully put together just make you feel good inside
Such a goddess soul only few ever known to mankind!
Wow that was a loud sentence, “Bang, Bang!” like Mankind
What did you guys think of “What’s On Your Mind?”
It was quite a journey writing about that piece,
Every time I re-read it, I laugh and say jheez!
Man, can’t express how much I love the craft of writing,
Looking forward to next fall, where it should be exciting!
Don’t you guys love it when I write in rhyme?
Fack, it’s so sweet,
Adorable like Matthew in a suit and tie
“Ha-ha-ha, ha, we luv deez hoes”
Like Big Boi from OutKast,
Oh, shit they don’t listen to good music, I should go quick, run fast!
Nah, I’d rather be lazy and zen everyday
Consider having a seat and naturally you can become “Bae”
Ew, I feel nasty for saying that last word,
It’s not even a word,
It’s something unheard
where do I look, oh here? Above?
Hey dudes, I’m God a.k.a. Johnny Blaze, Huh… What’s the problem?

Mhmm, oh yea?
Smoke some weed; stay zen and prosper
That’s how I would answer anyone who has questions, hypothetically stating I’m God,
But relax everybody, no need to get twitchy and odd
“Huh-huh-huh,” Butthead laugh, Red Foreman language
I have the munchies still, I should go buy a san-wich
Too much stereotypical hispanic-type problems, no hashtag?
Bruh, I’m so stoned, laughed when Patrick tweeted Soulja Boy in a trash bag
S/o to Bill Gates of Rap, haven’t seen him in a long time, but will always be a homie
Matthew, Dam Dam, Diego, Sergio and more obvi
Remember kids, be lazy and zen everyday if you don’t, you’ll be sorry!


42) “Prom Dressed”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series Day 4

42) Prom Dressed
By: Johnny Blaze

We were so young when I told you I would take you to my prom,
Things would’ve went according to plan but then you dropped a bomb
What’s wrong? Well, you sorta abandoned me and we never got together again, how outstandingly
-Lame, and yes it is a shame things didn’t work out,
Probably would’ve been with you right now no need for me to scout
No reason for me to be looking for the one when at the time you were my hunico, todo mi vida
But I grew up and realized I could find another señorita
And I did but that didn’t last too long
I mean damn she was sweet, I even saw her thon-
Oops that’s inappropriate,
I should apologize to my associates,
‘Cause damn girl these days you lookin’ fine as hell
And my homies tell me to move on from the past but my mind can’t spell
M-O-V-E -O-N,
So I smoke weed and the potent makes me pretend
That everything’s alright
But it ain’t
I usually come back to these thoughts
No stupid that was sarcasm,
I wanna be successful but my anxiety causes me to have a-spasm
-Attack, and in fact I can prove it like this:
I seen the picture of you in your prom dress
Damn girl what are the odds that you picked black?
Because I did too!
I mean I had a prom date, but she met molly and I even bought a suit!
All black, white shirt, black tie
Then you wore all black, like why aren’t I your guy?
Would’ve been totally rad,
If we were prom dates, this would occur before grad
We would slow dance to “All of Me” by John Legend, do you know the song?
Of course you do, so do I, hold you tight and maybe sing along
Naw, I’d put my arms around your waist, tell you how beautiful you look
Stare into those lovely eyes and if I shed a tear, ah don’t get shook
I’ll laugh and you’ll laugh and I’ll sing “give you all, of me”
And you would play with my hair and get closer
While I kiss your lips and whisper This is my closure
Yeah the night could’ve been awesome
But you live far, past Vaughn son
Anyways, I was just thinking about you ’cause I saw your prom dress,
I’m such a loser for thinking about this girl, God damn it, I’m such a-mess
Prom dressed