Anxiety

108) “How Great”

108) How Great
By: Johnny Blaze

[Intro:]
I think the lesson to be learned from all of this, is to appreciate every little thing in our lives while we can
Cherish the moment
Reach! both your arms out towards the sky,
Praise this life you are living and breathe in the air that is, essentially freedom
… How great is that?

[Verse 1:]
Scribbling, scribbling, rip out another page,
Poetry of a madman; still I write insane
My domain, was profane,
For years, used God’s name in vain,
My ego was the-size-of-a-crane,
But I felt tiny-as-a-grain
I grew wholeheartedly, apologized for my sins,
Prayed for forgiveness, guidance, strength, and been grateful since
Made a promise that I would never be disloyal for thou is King and I am Prince,
Even though I do not attend church, I am faithful through holy hymns
Glory be, glory be,
To you know who who helped when I had dropped to one knee,
He-healed-heels, laughed in pain; ended my chuckle with “Hee,”
Now I flee, I am free,
Trying not to sound hyperbole
Only one, who gave me spirit of courage, was thee,
Inductee, to-tha-hall of, “I believe”
How, great!
At last, David came to his senses,
Long ago, the kid was suffering from depression,
Around the same time, when he was just a Freshman
Praise due to the most high, now I sound, preachy!
Written in a notebook made of hemp and, the colour was that, of a kiwi!

(Flow Change)
Saying life is sweet as the first-bite from a Fuji Apple,
Lick my lips, every single time I see a booty rattle,
I’ll admit, fit women, get me all, dazzled
Fun-sized, thick thighs, oops, I have, babbled

(Back To Normal Flow)
Quit playin’, playin’, games sweetie,
How great were we?
The greatest inde-ed,
We even hit on Ash-le-y
Ashley is my pipe,
Down, but speak words into the mic,
Loud, sound, do I mean sonically?
Not quite

(Break)

[Verse 2:]
Never thought I’d ever see the light of day, before May?
I was focusing on how much I weigh
Pushing petals over and over,
Spinnin’ in cycles, sweat, dripped, down my shoulder,
Skippin’ like vinyls, broken, flip to Side B, no dope, I-was-sober
Months without a job,
Bills pilled up like scrap in my garage,
Whenever I opened my eyes, all I saw was a mirage

(Flow Change Like Before)
Is it true when you’re off weed, for weeks upon weeks?
That you go into Cannabis Withdrawal,
Meaning your reality becomes mystique?

(Back To Normal Flow)
At first it was scary,
Craved cannabis, can I just,
Go back to normal already?
Took some time, changed the paradigm,
A break away from it all wasn’t so deadly,
I confined into my redesign,
Read books when I would feel edgy
A Shepherd sold his sheep to advance in his quest for hidden treasure,
Wasn’t enough, he shined glass cups ’til he could move onto future endeavours
To the Pyramids, to the Pyramids,
Travelled through the desert with peers and amid,
He finally made it, discovered his destiny; all seen through a dream
The dream became reality,
The scene was serene; ultralight beams, ruled supreme
Mastered alchemy, how can he,
Take what he learned throughout his journey and use it to his-advantage?
Like the Shepherd, I am in-search-of-an-expert-who-will-teach-me-to-be, candid,
Lettuce/let us go ham/h.a.m. for the bread; that’s-a-sandwich
There’s layers to my soul; peel ’em off one-at-a-time,
There’s levels to these lyrics; try and decipher all-of-my-rhymes,
He who Stays Zen, shall al-ways-thrive,
Those who repent, will cease their demise

[Outro:]
How great

65) “Misery Loves Company”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series: The Day Special

65) Misery Loves Company
By: Johnny Blaze

Misery loves company,
That’s why it always comes for me
Sitting on this bench,
Beer in my hand ’cause I’m stressed
Guess, why I’m strugglin’?
For one, my Moms is constantly buggin’
Two, I got bills to pay; true
Three, still haven’t applied to College; eee…
Four, I could probably think of more
But why waste paper?
I got more friends than haters
I got more views than a single clue at what I’m gonna do,
-With my life,
That’s why I write,
My only outlet, it will be here when weed’s not,
Thinking How will I get my shit together?
I need to stop,
Drop,
And roll
A doobie? Ou wee!
Can I share with a girl? Have her livin’ a little loosely?
Excuse me, I gotz to turn the page,
Literally and metaphorically
*Pauses to take a sip from beer can*
I’m here man!
Wish I had more cash, more booze,
Might not be able to stand!
I slam women in writing ’cause I’m a loser, I’m not exciting
Just a quiet kid, long blonde hair,
I listen to Rap a lot; I constantly swear
Where, am I right now?
Toke Park, a kid wearing a Kanye-style mask,
Just passed by like a cat meows
Gonna see Damieow
And Dee-aye-geoo too,
Like Goku, I got two
-Balls, really want a bitch to suck them all
Ew, my verses just got dirty like Ol’ Bastard
But I know she’ll be on her knees and calling me “Master”
Nah, but in all seriousness,
I need to “Finish, It!”
Need to go to school and get good grades,
But I’ll probably go home and play as The Alliance; that’s Ryback and Johnny Blaze

69) “i”

 69) i
By: Johnny Blaze ft.Kendrick Lamar[Sample:] (x2)
This is a world premiere!

[Intro: Johnny Blaze]
I done been through a lot of shit
Depression, heartbreak, wanted to call it quits
Drowned in a swimming pool like Kendrick
Lost in the purple haze; Jimi Hendrix
Tick-tick-tick-tick
Felt like my time was up
Shook my head but looked at the sky above
I could see the stars were white like a flying dove
All in my head; these thoughts I gotta shove,

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
And I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze]
Nobody really knows Davey (Davey)
But you read about him (read about him)
Is he doing okay? (okay)
Or is he going a little crazy? (crazy)
A piece of this rhyme, came from
-The peace in my mind,
So I say love yourself before you love others,
That goes to my brother, but I pay no mind
Everybody wants happiness
Everybody wants happiness,
Appreciate everything in life that you experience
Everything in life ain’t that serious,
So I’m saying this,

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Verse 2: Johnny Blaze]
They wanna put fear in our minds and scare us to death,
And the media ain’t right, they turn to the left
And that provokes grand theft and some half step
-To your eating ha-bits, so now you’re just crêpe, yup
These mornings uplift me,
Wanna come smoke dope with a-G?
We can smoke a G, I’ll roll one so gently
Dreamin’ as an escape to my paradise
Warm weather in Cali; it’s very nice
Leave my life behind me, start a new one highly,
The spirit in me, I will rise

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Bridge: Kendrick Lamar]
Walk my bare feet (Walk my bare feet)
Down, down valley deep (Down, down valley deep)
Fi-fie-fo-fum (Fi-fie-fo-fum)
My heart undone (My heart undone)

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Verse 3: Johnny Blaze]
Hol’ up,
I couldn’t sleep last night
Had a nightmare she was right there What the fuck are you doing here?
All she wanted was a human sacrifice
I couldn’t sleep last night
Watching too much television, I’m making a decision
To stop ’cause I need to rest my eye sight
I couldn’t sleep last night
I’ve been dealing with emotions
-Of never ending notions
I’mma find a way to be alright
I couldn’t sleep last night
I’ve been dealing with Anxiety ever since society lied to me
Tryna rehabilitate my Chi,
‘Cause I’m really an emcee
So you could referee, you could even disagree,
But it’s up to you, pick and choose, the right team
And it’s clear if you’re not here and I’m still doing me,
That I don’t need you,
Don’t have to please you,
I’m a hundred percent real; guarantee
I might sound gutsy, s/o to my homies
Our comic will be shown, on-the-marquee
Pass our life story to the future, and I’m not talking about Issue number three
I’m talking to everybody, even wannabe’s
-Reborn, rise above to the top, hear you muthaphukkin’ scream, “I LOVE MYSELF!”

[Outro: Johnny Blaze]
I was so stressed
I must confess, I wanted to be dead
Oh no, this can’t be, was flying so high
Give me strength to be free ’till the day I die

i

67) “Senses”

67) Senses
By: Johnny Blaze

I want you to hear me like a deaf person hears Voodoo Child (Slight Return) by Hendrix for the first time,
I’m Stevie Wonder to these haters; can’t see the bullshit
-I’m,
Speaking to your concious,
Taste like a pupusa yeah I’m Salvadorean, how obnoxious, I promise,
Miss,
As long as I can get a whiff
-Of your perfectness,
We can touch a common ground,
It will be perfect if,
There’s no other issues here,
I’m sensing you caught all my senses, my dear

Senses

66) “Life’s A Beach/The Way They Make Me Feel

66) Life’s A Beach/The Way They Make Me Feel
By: Johnny Blaze

[Verse 1:] (Life’s A Beach)
She asked why I drank the Coronas,
Seems like this is worse than when she found my marijuana
Sitting here, back at Dragon Beach
It’s cold, I found a Dragon,
Well he found me,
But I’m still feeling weak
Ironic, used to be built strong
Now I’m a lost soul to my family, all I do is wrong
So I wrote this song,
-Just to express my emotions guys,
It was either that or kill myself; aka end my life
Yup, its actually come to this man
I’m at 5%, can’t feel my hands, damn
Life’s a beach and I’m just wind to the sand,
You wouldn’t last a minute in my boots,
You just don’t understand…

[Verse 2:] (The Way They Make Me Feel)
They make me feel like a degenerate
A devil child, cut my wings,
No longer heaven sent
Delicate, like I get thoughts of a predicate
-Felon,
They wonder where I’m going; Llewelyn
I’m tellin’ you guys right now,
I feel dark like my eyebrow
I’m softer than a white owl
Moaning misery like a-cow
Wow…
See I’m just some type of animal,
Shoot me down but weed and beer are my antidotes
And I quote,
“You are a fucking idiot, you take things that aren’t yours,
GO GET A JOB! YOU’RE NOT EVEN IN SCHOOL,”
-Say no more…

[Verse 3:]
Trying my best to fix my life
But I’m broken, super glue couldn’t fix it, right?
Yup, exactly
Can’t fix someone who’s broken,
Writing ’cause I feel like shit,
The world’s closin’
-In, on me, it sucks,
Should I roll some dice to change my luck?
Tough cookies LP,
You’re a loner,
And nobody will help me
They made me feel like I’m a monster
Man all I try to do is Stay Zen & Prosper
They make me feel like I’m sick in the head,
I imagine me 6-feet and dead
What a dread,
But instead, I fall, I trip, what’s sprung?
Where’s Summer? It’s Winter; I’m drunk
Uh,
Glad I continued writing in my Rhyme book
Contemplated ending life but I was shook,
Life, can’t end like this,
Where’s my future?
Grown man, lone kid
Depressing poetry for your bitch asses
Quiet dude, never wanted to make an “Ask” eh,
I’m tired
sick,
weak,
stoned
Drunk,
Fuck,
Alone,
Cold
Tell me what the fuck is real?
Good lord, can’t believe, this is the way they make me feel…

3) “Truth or Truth, Pt. I” [Final Version]

3) Truth or Truth, Pt. I
By: Johnny Blaze

[Intro:]
I love this beat man
I love Slaughterhouse
Crooked I, Royce Da 5’9″, Joell Ortiz and Joe Budden
That’s that group right there, that powerhouse rap group
Feel me?
No one doing it better than those dudes right now
So, let me see what I can do on this Truth or Truth beat, off that “On The House” mixtape
You Ready?
Yo-yo-yo, yo!

[Verse 1:]
I seemed to have lost my face,
Went to Vapour Lounge with some friends ’cause they know the place,
I mean, I never been there before,
So my idea of a good time was about to kick at the door
Stoners are immune to the reality of life so when you ask me why I smoke I’ll tell you reality’s a dyke….
-But shes my wife
Unfortunately I admit, I’m addicted to weed,
Or maybe I’m just committed, who’s to say I’m not addicted to me?
My homies don’t approve of anything that I do,
When I asked them to join me they said “I’m sick of this dude”
Kinda fucked up how friends become strangers,
For once in my life I thought I couldn’t be in more danger
I had dreams that I could have good friends, good fam and a good wife,
Then I woke up and realized that this wasn’t real life

[Bridge 1:]
I pause for the beat to drop,
But in my mind, all I hear is the sound of the needle pop

[Verse 2:]
Sadly every day I wake up depressed and alone,
But when I go out, I put on a front like it was a well structured home
My mother hate the way that I look, I’m tired of disappointing her, every day I stress,
I make a mess on the floor of my mind with thoughts that don’t make sense
How could she look her own son in his eyes and tell him “You need to cut your hair, you don’t look like a guy”
Ain’t that some B.S,
My own mother don’t love me,
I should runaway and leave a note like P.S.
I really wished you accepted me Mama,
Difficult to rap this and say I can’t believe you did this to me Mama,
Now I have to grow up knowing you’ll never be proud of me,
Look me in the eye, smile with me
No?
Well fuck you then!
I have a father but he never
cared really,
He was just there for us financially
He never taught me how to ride a bike,
Then when I aged, he wondered why I never ride the night
He should’ve gave me “the talk” man to man but he’s so pussy, he can’t handle being a man to a man
My own brother tellin’ me “Don’t do drugs don’t drink ya see?”
I say You do the same, so fuck you, I hope you bleed hypocrisy!
Nigga always mocking me!
Motherfucker is constantly cocky B!
I’m done with family,
You woulda thought that they ran from me!
I’m in this alone, it doesn’t matter anymo’,
Homies don’t know but fam, I’m grown

[Bridge 2:]
Ouuuuuuu oh
Nope I ain’t done yet,
I still need to speak my truth,
So don’t rewind it

[Verse 3:]
Today I realized that getting turnt up ain’t what it seems,
Drank so much that Saturday I fell to my knees
Everybody was probably starring, laughing, maybe even askin’ what happened,
Seems like people only remember the times you fail, not the times you prevail
It’s obvious that my real friends judge me even when I’m at my lowest point,
Weird, maybe I should just chill with the people who like to smoke a joint
I mean I ain’t gon’ lie, that day I fucked up, but that’s the reality of life,
If you don’t live and learn, you livin’ an inexperienced life
The other day I was with close friends, we smoked a couple Js, it was cool and shit,
But the weed made me realize what’s happening ain’t legit
My homie was acting like he was on shrooms,
This is the same guy who plays drums in his living room
The same dude who constantly judges me for doing drugs,
But there he was,
Smoking the kush, getting a buzz
At Subway the dude couldn’t eat,
Lettuce falling out of his mouth along with that meat
That was disgusting to witness,
I smoked but I was conscious,
Everyone smoked, everything they said was utterly non-sense
I couldn’t believe my eyes,
I was becoming that person who needed more in his mind,
Who could intake more weed, more alcohol, more food
What’s happening to me?
I need to turn my life around,
The first step in order to succeed,
Is knowing you can go a day without weed
No drinks please,
One too many for me and I’ll be down on my knees,
Like I’m at church when ironically, that’s what I need
God…
Jesus…
Faith…
I need those things in my life,
I want to be that person who knows that every little thing is gonna be alright
Bob Marley stays in my soul even when I’m blazed,
‘Cause knowing you’ll be okay, is a good thing to say
I honestly don’t know how I’ll get a job,
I’m an inexperienced gringo who stays at home like a slob
Maybe I should fix my resumé,
Make myself sound better than what I really am
Look at Sam,
Kicked out of his home,
Got on the phone with his Grandma,
She took him in,
He got a job,
Went back to school,
And got it in
How is it possible that stoners can get a job but not me?
I know I’m not trying but feels like even when I try they’ll just lie and say “We’ll call you”
No!
Like that stupid bitch Missy,
You lied to me, you said I got the job at the shop,
I told all my friends that I would be working at a thrift shop
They all shut me down, told me it’s sketchy
Well how supportive of you,
-But they were right
She ended up tellin’ me that the position has been filled,
Which doesn’t make sense ’cause you said I’d be making bills
So next time don’t say the job is yours,
‘Cause now you look like a stupid, motherfucking whore…

[Bridge 3:]
Hol’ up, hol’ up, let me stop this for a second,
That was the old DLP,
Let’s talk in present time; from my perspective

[Verse 4:]
My Moms just found out I smoke dope
She said I’m stupid, she didn’t raise me like this, guess she’s lost all hope
And my brother, he snapped; raged at me, started yelling like a lunatic
He got in my face, where was my father? In the living room, all you heard was *click*
That’s the sound of the remote,
My Mama came into my room, grabbed my backpack and told me to throw away the dope
Sweet lord Jesus,
If I don’t get rid of my stash, she might call the police
-And, we don’t want no problems in here,
I’m just a stoner, lazy and might die a loner, but it’s my Mama I fear
-The most, if I quit smoking dope, will I really be livin’ the life I want?
Or livin’ a life to suffice the needs of my mother, I can’t front
-As if it wouldn’t bother me
But all I wanna see is you smile obviously
Mama don’t think less of me please! Don’t leave me stranded!
Yeah I’m a pothead but don’t panic, it’s only organic!
Man oh man seeing you break down is not something I wanted to see,
I can’t even pee, tears fall down my face and because I’m sick, I suddenly sneeze
I don’t wanna be the reason you die,
I couldn’t handle such a tragedy,
I would never be able to sleep; I would just stay up and cry
Why, why, why did this have to happen man?
I’m feeling suicidal like the white boy from Stan
And, how can I be the man if I’m the reason for your pain?
Guess I’m a piece of shit, I should die in vein
Maine,
Sometimes I wonder will I really end up working for Double-X-L?
Will I eventually reach my goals, become a person who excelled?
I be lying if I said that doesn’t bother me,
This is truth or truth, and for the record I try not to lie, honestly
Truth be told if it weren’t for this pen and pad,
I’d be jumping off a bridge and land
-On a train track
Get demolished by a train, crap!
And this be the realest shit I ever wrote…

[Outro:]
This song was written in four different periods of my life
That is why this is the deepest piece I ever wrote for real
Love me or hate me, without having writing as an outlet,
I would be dead with my tombstone that reads “David Lazo-Pineda; The Einstein Of Rap”
Because that’s how my legacy shall proceed,
Truth or Truth, Pt. I is undoubtedly me

50) “Ranting/The Hooded Man”

50) Ranting/The Hooded Man
By: Johnny Blaze

[Verse 1:] (Ranting)
You can’t put a price on art,
So why the hell did I sell my Iron Man painting, thinking it was smart?
Guess I valued a dollar more than I valued my ability to do something amazing,
I’ll never see that beauty again, Ironically I sold it to “The Man” in a suit, what am I, crazy?
Maybe
I used some colours so I never did anything shady
But $60 bucks isn’t deep enough
Pocket full of lint, wallet full of stuff
This the shit that, they teach about in school
But I was a dumb ass, sold the one good thing that I painted; I’m such a fool
Because in art class, teacher always had some shit to say
“I don’t like this idea, you should go a different way”
No bitch, this has some sentimental value
Why would I throw it away?
This bitch must be poppin’ Valium!
They told me “Just go with the flow” but I never understood
My ass backwards, Acid Rapper, give me a Chance, I could out rap ya
I think some kids are stupid in school it’s quite silly
I could introduce them to R. Kelly and they would interpret it as “Arr, Kelly!”
What the fuck? Dude, R. Kelly isn’t a pirate,
He pissed on a girl once, but that’s because he was thinking with his private
I’m sorta coming (cumming) to the end of this verse
So call me a wanka, see a nice booty don’t grab it, just spank her
But she turned around and pulled out a pistol
Shot me in the chest now I’m thinking This is it bro

[Verse 2:] (The Hooded Man)
What happened to me? I thought I’d be laying dead in a hearse
Who’s that? Ou crap, sweet lady I called Nurse!
She approached me, went in her purse,
Handed me a CD; it was Jay Z’s The Gift and The Curse
Oh sweet, something to listen to because first I fumbled, now I’ll recover
That was my first NFL reference
My next sentence shall hover
Writing from a hospital bed,
Can’t go to sleep, all I can think of is Everyone in this hospital is dead
So I unplugged everything that was attached to my body
Ran down the hallway, took the elevator down to the lobby
Because obvi, I’m tryna escape this place,
But first I had to get a coffee
The bitch over the counter called security ’cause she suspected I was on the loose
So I threw the coffee in her face, apologized then vamoosh!
The doors opened, I can see the night’s light
But before me stood a hooded person, *bang-bang*
I was out like,
Grabbing this person and screamed Why did you do this to me?
The person took off the hoodie and it was, it was me…