Depression

97) “Blayzie ‘N Thugz Mansion (September 3rd) ft.Blayzie”

97) Blayzie ‘N Thugz Mansion (September 3rd)
By: Johnny Blaze ft.Blayzie

[Intro: Blayzie]
Umm….
Yeah,
As we’re entering…
As we’re entering….
The new year, and yeno, Christmas is coming up,
I would like to uh, wish everybody a Merry Christmas,
And a Happy New Year,
Uhhh, this last year, yeno, it’s…
Been okay, been…
So-so, yeno,
I could say great but…..
Okay, maybe it was great yeno uh,
Some people are okay, some people, are not but still, life is good
And, what more can I say?
I could say I’m blessed,
I could say I’m lucky,
Or I could say I could deserve what I have right now because I deserve it; because of what I went through…

[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze] (The Bad News / The Flashbacks)
I was at the hospital when I heard the news
Sapo called,
Told me we had lost you,
I didn’t believe it to be true,
My skin pale; began to turn blue,
And if I had-to-choose,
I wish I had been-there, with the-crew!
My jaw dropped,
Stared into space while my heart stopped,
What was I to say?
Everyone in the room watched,
Visions of us,
Watching Wrestlemania 31,
Couldn’t get chu that Arizona Sweet Tea that you wanted
Hoping you cash in that chance to meet Eazy,
ODB,
L, Pun,
Nate Dogg and ‘Pac,
Or even Roddy, Rhodes,
Savage, Eddie and Benoit
You were the kindest soul in my neighbourhood
Regret I didn’t get you anything last Christmas bruh,
You, me and Mertz smoked Moroccan Hash bowls,
We were beyond stoned,
Played Last of Us and my cousin looked like he had an afro
And if I had to, pick one thing I loved about you,
It’d be your knowledge of Hip-Hop; that’s when I knew,
This guy was cool,
Blaze for Blayzie dudes…

[Bridge 1: Blayzie]
What was I gonna say?
All I gotta say is, enjoy life man,
Enjoy it while you can…..
Uh,
Try not to be depressed
Uh, get your mind off,
Get your mind off things that make you depressed….
Yeno?
See a psychiatrist yeno?
Channel all that, depression into something that’s positive, yeno?
Like I did…
Yeno, like, it’s hard but,
You gotta try… (x2)

[Verse 2: Johnny Blaze] (Cystic Fibrosis)
A soulja like the image of ‘Pac,
Fire Blast was the mixtape he was suppose to drop
Then C.F. got the best of his heart,
But he lives forever like Monday Night Raw
No matter what, your fight to survive is my inspiration,
I do a lot of stupid shit, but I learned to be more patient
I quit hanging around people who only hold me back,
I don’t owe them jack,
Every time I ask friends to rap,
They nod and say “Yeah,”
But, where are they fam?!
One night, I was mixing this song,
I felt Kevin’s presence; he was watching over me from above
And I couldn’t help but feel relieved,
Brought out my inner hippy,
I’m glad you were listening,
Thank you for being with me
‘Cause these days have been nothing but cruel,
In order to find my zen, I search for the moon
I still have your number in my phone,
We’ll reunite one day,
I’ll bring some herbal clones
But I’ll have to wait ’til I’m grown,
Bet you’re doing good on your own
Ight, I gotta go,
Back to you bro……..

[Bridge 2: Blayzie]
One more time,
Yeah,
So um,
We don’t know,
We don’t know how long we’re gonna live
And,
There’s people,
They always question why, people are living,
And why, they’re on this earth
The thing is me, if I’m on this earth and I make at least one person,
One person happy,
Or satisfied,
If I do, like, one person good,
Then, then that’s worth living
At least, I know, there’s somebody in my life, that I make them happy for me to stay alive,
So that’s why I stay alive…..

[Verse 3: Johnny Blaze] (The Reflection / The Promise)
Dear Kevin, I can’t believe that you’re gone,
You were the first one to ever invite me to record a song,
I knew from the moment we met, you were sick and something was wrong
The coughs I would hear,
Were more severe,
Than the typical stoner after they hit a bong
That’s when you introduced me to Vape ’cause it’s safer,
Grape God Kush was the best flavour
Then, you showed me that in order to live in unity,
People need to show love and be exactly what makes them unique
The family and I went to your viewing,
I broke down in tears and fell to my knees,
Prayed that you made it to the holy gates at ease,
I made a promise to you while you laid asleep,
I’m going to make it in this music industry
And your legacy, will be remembered for centuries

[Sample: Thugz Mansion (Acoustic Version) by 2Pac]
“Picture a place that they exist, together
There has to be a place better than this, in heaven,”

[Johnny Blaze:]
All he wanted was to increase the peace,
Wondering why he had to leave,
Homie, I hope you get to smoke with the OG’s,
-In gangsta fashion,
Keep staying zen,
Hope we someday meet again,

[Sample: Thugz Mansion by 2Pac + (Johnny Blaze)]
-In Thug’s Mansion (In Thugz Mansion)

[Outro: Blayzie]
Like Drake said, “Y.O.L.O!”
Hmph, nah I’m joking,
None of that bullshit,
“Y.O.L.O,”
What the fuck is “Y.O.L.O?”
You only live,
You only live once right?
How ’bout you only die once!
But anyways,
I don’t wanna bore you, anymore
So, all I gotta say is one more time is,
Merry Christmas to all you,
Happy New Year,
Uh,
Use condoms…..
Uh,
If you’re gonna rob people,
Uh, hide your identity
And don’t leave the, weapon in the ‘Mercy
That’s all I gotta say
Alright,
I’m gone,
Oh and, rest in peace to, my friends,
Bye

69) “i”

 69) i
By: Johnny Blaze ft.Kendrick Lamar[Sample:] (x2)
This is a world premiere!

[Intro: Johnny Blaze]
I done been through a lot of shit
Depression, heartbreak, wanted to call it quits
Drowned in a swimming pool like Kendrick
Lost in the purple haze; Jimi Hendrix
Tick-tick-tick-tick
Felt like my time was up
Shook my head but looked at the sky above
I could see the stars were white like a flying dove
All in my head; these thoughts I gotta shove,

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
And I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Verse 1: Johnny Blaze]
Nobody really knows Davey (Davey)
But you read about him (read about him)
Is he doing okay? (okay)
Or is he going a little crazy? (crazy)
A piece of this rhyme, came from
-The peace in my mind,
So I say love yourself before you love others,
That goes to my brother, but I pay no mind
Everybody wants happiness
Everybody wants happiness,
Appreciate everything in life that you experience
Everything in life ain’t that serious,
So I’m saying this,

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Verse 2: Johnny Blaze]
They wanna put fear in our minds and scare us to death,
And the media ain’t right, they turn to the left
And that provokes grand theft and some half step
-To your eating ha-bits, so now you’re just crêpe, yup
These mornings uplift me,
Wanna come smoke dope with a-G?
We can smoke a G, I’ll roll one so gently
Dreamin’ as an escape to my paradise
Warm weather in Cali; it’s very nice
Leave my life behind me, start a new one highly,
The spirit in me, I will rise

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Bridge: Kendrick Lamar]
Walk my bare feet (Walk my bare feet)
Down, down valley deep (Down, down valley deep)
Fi-fie-fo-fum (Fi-fie-fo-fum)
My heart undone (My heart undone)

[Hook: Kendrick Lamar]
I love myself!
(The world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs)
I love myself!
(But it can do what it want whenever it want, I don’t mind)
I love myself!
(He said I gotta get up, life is more than suicide)
I love my, self!
(One day at a time, sun gon’ shine)

[Verse 3: Johnny Blaze]
Hol’ up,
I couldn’t sleep last night
Had a nightmare she was right there What the fuck are you doing here?
All she wanted was a human sacrifice
I couldn’t sleep last night
Watching too much television, I’m making a decision
To stop ’cause I need to rest my eye sight
I couldn’t sleep last night
I’ve been dealing with emotions
-Of never ending notions
I’mma find a way to be alright
I couldn’t sleep last night
I’ve been dealing with Anxiety ever since society lied to me
Tryna rehabilitate my Chi,
‘Cause I’m really an emcee
So you could referee, you could even disagree,
But it’s up to you, pick and choose, the right team
And it’s clear if you’re not here and I’m still doing me,
That I don’t need you,
Don’t have to please you,
I’m a hundred percent real; guarantee
I might sound gutsy, s/o to my homies
Our comic will be shown, on-the-marquee
Pass our life story to the future, and I’m not talking about Issue number three
I’m talking to everybody, even wannabe’s
-Reborn, rise above to the top, hear you muthaphukkin’ scream, “I LOVE MYSELF!”

[Outro: Johnny Blaze]
I was so stressed
I must confess, I wanted to be dead
Oh no, this can’t be, was flying so high
Give me strength to be free ’till the day I die

i

3) “Truth or Truth, Pt. I” [Final Version]

3) Truth or Truth, Pt. I
By: Johnny Blaze

[Intro:]
I love this beat man
I love Slaughterhouse
Crooked I, Royce Da 5’9″, Joell Ortiz and Joe Budden
That’s that group right there, that powerhouse rap group
Feel me?
No one doing it better than those dudes right now
So, let me see what I can do on this Truth or Truth beat, off that “On The House” mixtape
You Ready?
Yo-yo-yo, yo!

[Verse 1:]
I seemed to have lost my face,
Went to Vapour Lounge with some friends ’cause they know the place,
I mean, I never been there before,
So my idea of a good time was about to kick at the door
Stoners are immune to the reality of life so when you ask me why I smoke I’ll tell you reality’s a dyke….
-But shes my wife
Unfortunately I admit, I’m addicted to weed,
Or maybe I’m just committed, who’s to say I’m not addicted to me?
My homies don’t approve of anything that I do,
When I asked them to join me they said “I’m sick of this dude”
Kinda fucked up how friends become strangers,
For once in my life I thought I couldn’t be in more danger
I had dreams that I could have good friends, good fam and a good wife,
Then I woke up and realized that this wasn’t real life

[Bridge 1:]
I pause for the beat to drop,
But in my mind, all I hear is the sound of the needle pop

[Verse 2:]
Sadly every day I wake up depressed and alone,
But when I go out, I put on a front like it was a well structured home
My mother hate the way that I look, I’m tired of disappointing her, every day I stress,
I make a mess on the floor of my mind with thoughts that don’t make sense
How could she look her own son in his eyes and tell him “You need to cut your hair, you don’t look like a guy”
Ain’t that some B.S,
My own mother don’t love me,
I should runaway and leave a note like P.S.
I really wished you accepted me Mama,
Difficult to rap this and say I can’t believe you did this to me Mama,
Now I have to grow up knowing you’ll never be proud of me,
Look me in the eye, smile with me
No?
Well fuck you then!
I have a father but he never
cared really,
He was just there for us financially
He never taught me how to ride a bike,
Then when I aged, he wondered why I never ride the night
He should’ve gave me “the talk” man to man but he’s so pussy, he can’t handle being a man to a man
My own brother tellin’ me “Don’t do drugs don’t drink ya see?”
I say You do the same, so fuck you, I hope you bleed hypocrisy!
Nigga always mocking me!
Motherfucker is constantly cocky B!
I’m done with family,
You woulda thought that they ran from me!
I’m in this alone, it doesn’t matter anymo’,
Homies don’t know but fam, I’m grown

[Bridge 2:]
Ouuuuuuu oh
Nope I ain’t done yet,
I still need to speak my truth,
So don’t rewind it

[Verse 3:]
Today I realized that getting turnt up ain’t what it seems,
Drank so much that Saturday I fell to my knees
Everybody was probably starring, laughing, maybe even askin’ what happened,
Seems like people only remember the times you fail, not the times you prevail
It’s obvious that my real friends judge me even when I’m at my lowest point,
Weird, maybe I should just chill with the people who like to smoke a joint
I mean I ain’t gon’ lie, that day I fucked up, but that’s the reality of life,
If you don’t live and learn, you livin’ an inexperienced life
The other day I was with close friends, we smoked a couple Js, it was cool and shit,
But the weed made me realize what’s happening ain’t legit
My homie was acting like he was on shrooms,
This is the same guy who plays drums in his living room
The same dude who constantly judges me for doing drugs,
But there he was,
Smoking the kush, getting a buzz
At Subway the dude couldn’t eat,
Lettuce falling out of his mouth along with that meat
That was disgusting to witness,
I smoked but I was conscious,
Everyone smoked, everything they said was utterly non-sense
I couldn’t believe my eyes,
I was becoming that person who needed more in his mind,
Who could intake more weed, more alcohol, more food
What’s happening to me?
I need to turn my life around,
The first step in order to succeed,
Is knowing you can go a day without weed
No drinks please,
One too many for me and I’ll be down on my knees,
Like I’m at church when ironically, that’s what I need
God…
Jesus…
Faith…
I need those things in my life,
I want to be that person who knows that every little thing is gonna be alright
Bob Marley stays in my soul even when I’m blazed,
‘Cause knowing you’ll be okay, is a good thing to say
I honestly don’t know how I’ll get a job,
I’m an inexperienced gringo who stays at home like a slob
Maybe I should fix my resumé,
Make myself sound better than what I really am
Look at Sam,
Kicked out of his home,
Got on the phone with his Grandma,
She took him in,
He got a job,
Went back to school,
And got it in
How is it possible that stoners can get a job but not me?
I know I’m not trying but feels like even when I try they’ll just lie and say “We’ll call you”
No!
Like that stupid bitch Missy,
You lied to me, you said I got the job at the shop,
I told all my friends that I would be working at a thrift shop
They all shut me down, told me it’s sketchy
Well how supportive of you,
-But they were right
She ended up tellin’ me that the position has been filled,
Which doesn’t make sense ’cause you said I’d be making bills
So next time don’t say the job is yours,
‘Cause now you look like a stupid, motherfucking whore…

[Bridge 3:]
Hol’ up, hol’ up, let me stop this for a second,
That was the old DLP,
Let’s talk in present time; from my perspective

[Verse 4:]
My Moms just found out I smoke dope
She said I’m stupid, she didn’t raise me like this, guess she’s lost all hope
And my brother, he snapped; raged at me, started yelling like a lunatic
He got in my face, where was my father? In the living room, all you heard was *click*
That’s the sound of the remote,
My Mama came into my room, grabbed my backpack and told me to throw away the dope
Sweet lord Jesus,
If I don’t get rid of my stash, she might call the police
-And, we don’t want no problems in here,
I’m just a stoner, lazy and might die a loner, but it’s my Mama I fear
-The most, if I quit smoking dope, will I really be livin’ the life I want?
Or livin’ a life to suffice the needs of my mother, I can’t front
-As if it wouldn’t bother me
But all I wanna see is you smile obviously
Mama don’t think less of me please! Don’t leave me stranded!
Yeah I’m a pothead but don’t panic, it’s only organic!
Man oh man seeing you break down is not something I wanted to see,
I can’t even pee, tears fall down my face and because I’m sick, I suddenly sneeze
I don’t wanna be the reason you die,
I couldn’t handle such a tragedy,
I would never be able to sleep; I would just stay up and cry
Why, why, why did this have to happen man?
I’m feeling suicidal like the white boy from Stan
And, how can I be the man if I’m the reason for your pain?
Guess I’m a piece of shit, I should die in vein
Maine,
Sometimes I wonder will I really end up working for Double-X-L?
Will I eventually reach my goals, become a person who excelled?
I be lying if I said that doesn’t bother me,
This is truth or truth, and for the record I try not to lie, honestly
Truth be told if it weren’t for this pen and pad,
I’d be jumping off a bridge and land
-On a train track
Get demolished by a train, crap!
And this be the realest shit I ever wrote…

[Outro:]
This song was written in four different periods of my life
That is why this is the deepest piece I ever wrote for real
Love me or hate me, without having writing as an outlet,
I would be dead with my tombstone that reads “David Lazo-Pineda; The Einstein Of Rap”
Because that’s how my legacy shall proceed,
Truth or Truth, Pt. I is undoubtedly me