Spoken Word

48) “B.L.A.Z.E. (Be Lazy And Zen Everyday)”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series Day 5 (The Final Day)

48) B.L.A.Z.E. (Be Lazy And Zen Everyday)
By: Johnny Blaze

[Verse 1:]
I’ve been broke for far too long,
Now I’m liftin’ my money up, yeah, feeling so damn strong
They say when you prosper, the only way to go is up,
So I decided as of this moment, my only goal is to not suck
And to not fuck
-Around with those other clowns that make you feel like,
So weird, might
add that, everybody is lazy in some ways more than others
For instance when I come home, I swear all I want to do is kick my brother
But I don’t to avoid noise from my mother
‘Cause I respect her too much, I would never think I’m above her
That goes out to everyone reading this post
Hope you realize your mom is the one who brought you into this world; that’s not a joke
Be lazy and zen everyday
I know I will, ma’fucka I’m gettin’ paid!

[Verse 2:]
They gon’ ask, “How you stay zen Johnny?”
First off, music helps,
Try listening to Erykah Badu, she will guide you; recuperate yourself
“Your energy,
Feels so damn good to me
It picks me up, don’t wanna come down, you got me spinnin’ all around”

Words so beautifully put together just make you feel good inside
Such a goddess soul only few ever known to mankind!
Wow that was a loud sentence, “Bang, Bang!” like Mankind
What did you guys think of “What’s On Your Mind?”
It was quite a journey writing about that piece,
Every time I re-read it, I laugh and say jheez!
Man, can’t express how much I love the craft of writing,
Looking forward to next fall, where it should be exciting!
Don’t you guys love it when I write in rhyme?
Fack, it’s so sweet,
Adorable like Matthew in a suit and tie
“Ha-ha-ha, ha, we luv deez hoes”
Like Big Boi from OutKast,
Oh, shit they don’t listen to good music, I should go quick, run fast!
Nah, I’d rather be lazy and zen everyday
Consider having a seat and naturally you can become “Bae”
Ew, I feel nasty for saying that last word,
It’s not even a word,
It’s something unheard
where do I look, oh here? Above?
Hey dudes, I’m God a.k.a. Johnny Blaze, Huh… What’s the problem?

Mhmm, oh yea?
Smoke some weed; stay zen and prosper
That’s how I would answer anyone who has questions, hypothetically stating I’m God,
But relax everybody, no need to get twitchy and odd
“Huh-huh-huh,” Butthead laugh, Red Foreman language
I have the munchies still, I should go buy a san-wich
Too much stereotypical hispanic-type problems, no hashtag?
Bruh, I’m so stoned, laughed when Patrick tweeted Soulja Boy in a trash bag
S/o to Bill Gates of Rap, haven’t seen him in a long time, but will always be a homie
Matthew, Dam Dam, Diego, Sergio and more obvi
Remember kids, be lazy and zen everyday if you don’t, you’ll be sorry!



42) “Prom Dressed”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series Day 4

42) Prom Dressed
By: Johnny Blaze

We were so young when I told you I would take you to my prom,
Things would’ve went according to plan but then you dropped a bomb
What’s wrong? Well, you sorta abandoned me and we never got together again, how outstandingly
-Lame, and yes it is a shame things didn’t work out,
Probably would’ve been with you right now no need for me to scout
No reason for me to be looking for the one when at the time you were my hunico, todo mi vida
But I grew up and realized I could find another señorita
And I did but that didn’t last too long
I mean damn she was sweet, I even saw her thon-
Oops that’s inappropriate,
I should apologize to my associates,
‘Cause damn girl these days you lookin’ fine as hell
And my homies tell me to move on from the past but my mind can’t spell
M-O-V-E -O-N,
So I smoke weed and the potent makes me pretend
That everything’s alright
But it ain’t
I usually come back to these thoughts
No stupid that was sarcasm,
I wanna be successful but my anxiety causes me to have a-spasm
-Attack, and in fact I can prove it like this:
I seen the picture of you in your prom dress
Damn girl what are the odds that you picked black?
Because I did too!
I mean I had a prom date, but she met molly and I even bought a suit!
All black, white shirt, black tie
Then you wore all black, like why aren’t I your guy?
Would’ve been totally rad,
If we were prom dates, this would occur before grad
We would slow dance to “All of Me” by John Legend, do you know the song?
Of course you do, so do I, hold you tight and maybe sing along
Naw, I’d put my arms around your waist, tell you how beautiful you look
Stare into those lovely eyes and if I shed a tear, ah don’t get shook
I’ll laugh and you’ll laugh and I’ll sing “give you all, of me”
And you would play with my hair and get closer
While I kiss your lips and whisper This is my closure
Yeah the night could’ve been awesome
But you live far, past Vaughn son
Anyways, I was just thinking about you ’cause I saw your prom dress,
I’m such a loser for thinking about this girl, God damn it, I’m such a-mess
Prom dressed

46) “Uh,”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series Day 3

46) Uh,
By: Johnny Blaze

When my pen ignites
My identity is insight
I am Johnny Blaze,
Never gave a fuck about school,
Always went to class in a daze
Then complained about my grades,
Like What do you mean I’m just a 65 percent average?
So I unleashed hell with my skills and the result; I became a savage
My poetry is what did the damage
My writing was like a beautifully layered sandwich
Spent my Summer in school and still never went to ‘Land bitch
But life is one heck of a ride
At first it’s all swings n things then you slip n slide
You know I’d never lie
I’ll say what I want, no regrets, I’m just that kind of guy
Lies, lies, lies Dam Dam said
Never released Punk-Ass Bitch because it would have people drop dead
‘Cause sometimes, what comes out of my mouth or from my pen,
Can unfortunately damage some friends and nevertheless offend
Doesn’t relate to those who are in grade 10,
Just applies to the bitches who are my age, that’s the purpose and then,
Some will talk behind my back, yada-yada-yada
But some of you are wack, spoiled and stuck up, buying fuckin’ Prada?
Ta loco
Kind of makes me wanna put you in a choke hold
That’s not like me
Gotta stay zen, can’t act like a hype beast
Me smoking meth is highly unlikely
That escalated quite quickly right?
So did the Malaysian airlines and I can’t believe they never found that flight
What I’m sayin’ is I’m feelin’ higher than a kite
This isn’t a Superbad blog post, this is Jonah Hill tight

44) “What’s On Your Mind? (Pt. I)”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series Day 2

44) What’s On Your Mind? (Pt. I)
By: Johnny Blaze

What’s on your mind DLP?

[Verse 1:]
Well, lets see
I smoked Sativa today,
My brain needs recovery, I’m layin’ in bed,
Hoes don’t know DLP but they probably judge him ’cause of his head
But it’s coo, I don’t care,
Back to growin’ out my hair,
Wonderin’ how long will it take this time,
Every day I picture me lookin’ like a hippie nope, I’m lyin’
Speaking of tellin’ the truth I’ve been meaning to spit some wisdom,
But I’ve been busy working at System
-Fitness so witness me get the money yawk yawk fuck school, boy I’m queued bruh
This is the first time ever that I’m not worried about school bruh
Take a year off bruh, discover myself more,
Hope not to get addicted to whores ’cause life’s a beach and I’m just sittin’ by the shore
With no jersey bro
Fist pump, push-up, chap stick used to be the moto yo
Yeah I said moto not motto
Fuck Drake, even in person I wouldn’t give him a handshake
Probably pull a Kanye on him
And spit something bright like the blonde on-‘Em
Yeye I’m nothin’ like Slim Shady baby,
I’m Johnny Blaze, increasing peace but sometimes actin’ crazy
What do you mean? Well I’ll tell ya in due time
But first, one must ask,

What’s on your mind DLP?

[Verse 2:]
Writing this verse obviously
My attitude is like the symbol on a preg test; positively
Seen T K.O. from the ganja, never yayo
Went to St. Nicks and saw Tony flip his fing-oh
His middle fingah, Chubs and I died,
The janitor of St. Nicks, laughin’ at us guys
But to be honest, it was nice seeing him after all these years and he somehow finds a reason to smile
I know I haven’t been to St. Nicks in a while,
But I remember those days like when I will have my first child
And girls getting pregnant seems to be the new style
Or maybe cummin’ inside is the new wild
But it doesn’t matter to me,
If you wanna have kids, go for it, feel free
Speakin’ of free, when are you gonna be single girl?
I saw you on the ‘Gram and thought Damn, if I had her, I’d feel on top of the world
But you know how this shit goes
One minute you talk for hours,
Next minute you’ll be a side hoe
Yes I said it, guys can be side hoes too
What, you thought ’cause some girls are in relationships, claim they loyal but the truth is she’s using you ’cause she’s spoiled
And if you have no problem with that, good for you dumb ass
Have fun trying to look for something real when all you out lookin’ for is some-ass

What’s on your mind DLP?

[Verse 3:]
Work unfortunately
Last Summer I was working at this fitness club,
This year I’m back so far Eddie is somebody I no longer want to push or shove
So yeah, we on good terms,
But Rose told me she hasn’t heard from Steven since he got fired
Now that’s not even
But odd rather,
I respected that man, so what if he was a cleaner it doesn’t matter
‘Cause he told me I was like a son to him
Which meant a lot to me
I took it personally, ’cause I never had that Father-Son bondage that most kids have,
Every day I live my life ignoring my Dad
But he did say he was proud of me when I graduated High School
However, one day doesn’t make up for a lifetime of abandonment
Be right back, ’bout to break the 5th commandment

What’s on your mind DLP?

[Verse 4:]
The bible and it’s sorcery
Which (Witch) means Jesus got stoned by his own people
These days ain’t shit changed,
There’s no such thing as being equal
There’s a war going on outside,
How do we maintain?
When our people are killing each other man nobody is safe,
The world’s gone insane
Chicago is like Iraq, or “Chi-raq” so to speak
Jesus Christ, Detroit doesn’t even have a Mayor, people are creating anarchy and Kentucky people are acting like freaks
So let us give our thoughts and prayers to the family of Michael Brown,
Gone but not forgotten, I’m spittin’ real shit now
To those who were victims of police brutality in Ferguson,
Keep ya head up and police better not murder them
To the every day struggle that goes on in the world,
Recognize it is real not everything is pretty like diamonds and pearls
This is on a serious note guys, I can’t deal with violence like this
If I could just make one wish,
It’d be to make peace within our planet
Loving each other should be a daily habit

What’s on your mind DLP?

[Verse 5:]
This girl and it’s torturing me
‘Cause I’m talkin’ to her, and I feel weird for being so openly
I usually keep to myself so I don’t hurt my health
You can’t be broken hearted if your heart’s on lockdown
But I’mma give this a chance in hopes that I don’t get let down
She’s the only cool kid at school,
All the others are room temperature
Cold as ice or ice cream cold like Gucci’s “Brrr!
I kinda dig you or I’m trying to at least
Fuck that old chick, she had me dyin’ in my sleep
That’s why I never dreamed of her, write no schemes to her,
Our whole time together seems like a blur
I wanna know how you’re doing
At the same time I wanna stick a crowbar into your chest
Rip your heart out, shove it down your mouth and watch you eat your own flesh
But then again that’s gross wouldn’t want to see a whole mess
Best that I stick to writing freely on this neat ol’ desk
Yeah man I’m thinkin’ I have the worst possible luck in the world
Got friend zoned the other day by the same “ice cold” girl
No names need to be mentioned ’cause fuck Twitter for real
That shit has been ruining my life since it originated and it’s so surreal
Like Facebook was tight,
You could poke each other when everything wasn’t right
And 140 characters wasn’t even a limit
You’d have more friends than the average person, that’s triple your double digits
MSN? Yeah, I was wit it
Nudge bitches to see if they nudge back
God us kids were so wack,
Signing off and on just to show our crush we were on track
Your name had to be flashy and dat be
Something you would do with no shame,
‘Cause everybody had the same mentality but we grew up and drove in our own separate lane
That’s why I skrt-skrt every time I come across a wild one
We’ll talk for a minute then next thing you know in a while, it’s done!
What the fuck is this shit, I’m serious, this is such a wack society
They say everyone has a soul mate but they must’ve lied to me
Nobody gets who I am or what I do
Some girls are just selfish or can’t take a risk; just jump without a parachute
Or wear a pair of shoes with no laces
Just face this, you’re one of a kind with natural beauty, no need for a facelift
I kinda get where Kanye was going when he said he needed a spaceship
“and fly, past the sky”
‘Cause either Toronto needs a new breed of women,
Or I need a new place to live in
Everyone here is old, no I’m the Fresh Prince and these girls just Aunt Viv
-And, while you going out to raves,
Hear me sing “It’s Not Unusual” while I do the Carlton Dance on your graves
You can go to school all your life but there won’t be a Masters in your Will
Ask Ashley, she’ll ash out a Jeffrey (Geoffrey) now honour that Uncle Phil
What else is there to kill besides great actors?
A side chick maybe, or your girl, the one you should look after
But you know how it goes down
“These hoes ain’t loyal” yeah now I’m quoting Chris Brown
Just beat it, I’m not riri just feelin’ a lil’ bit of a thriller
You can call me the Doc like Michael Jackson’s dealer
It’s a cold world we need a blanket
I should recruit a team of peacemakers and call it a banquet
Ask me one more time ye, I challenge you baby
What’s on my mind? Well since you asked, death maybe.

To be continued…

47) “Fuck Starbucks”

The B.L.A.Z.E. Blog Post Series Day 1

47) Fuck Starbucks
By: Johnny Blaze

 Fuck Starbucks
Ask the Barista for a Pumpkin Spice
At the same time see me super kick your head, fuckin’ right
“That wasn’t nice”
So what bitch? Didn’t cha know, now I’m cold as ice!
Did you also know their coffee beans come straight from El Salvador?
Bunch of bastards
They know my people’s coffee’s great so they bullied them and took their answers
Stupid hipsters
They make me sick, thinking it’s original to play Twister
Bitch you in a mid-life crisis!
You watch too much Seinfeld, now you just Julia-Louis Dreyfus
What goes on in a person’s mind when they enter this café?
“Hmm… Should I get the espresso or the mocha latte?”
Get the fuck atta here with that noise,
Such thoughts probably come from the minds of hipster gay boys
Y’all spend bucks and feel like a star
But you could be using that money for the gas in your car
But wait I forgot, you’re into the whole “environmentally friendly” type of vehicles
So you drive a Prius and own a swimming pool
That seems all cool, except for one thing
You’re watching too much F.R.I.E.N.D.S. so you think you’re funny like Chandler Bing
Then there’s that crowd of people who sit at a table, type on their laptop with their headphones plugged into their ears
And I get why they’re so comfortable; it’s because Wi-Fi is here
Well my dear I hate to destroy your world,
But just because you buy something from Starbucks, doesn’t make you a white girl
Matter of fact, fuck hipsters, they all stupid and they suck
“Can I take your order?”
Yeah, fuck Starbucks!

40) “If I Should Have A Son…”

“If I Should Have a Son…”

By: Johnny Blaze

If I should have a son, let it be known first off that I was the one. I was the one who had to grow up with a father who was never there for me or cared for me. He was just there for us financially. I was the one who had to deal with the fact that growing up, my father was nothing but the first three letters. Fat. He was a fat man; a man who you will never meet and I won’t allow you to meet him, ever. Not even at his grave site. But who am I kidding, calling my father a man is a compliment and he doesn’t deserve such false recognition. If I should have a son, I’ll make it my mission to fit the definition of Dad, now peep this transition.

I will be the one who plants the seed into your mother’s soil. I will be the one who puts headphones on your mother’s baby bump just so you can hear Bob Marley thump. I will be the one who teaches you everything you need to know about old school Hip-Hop and slap you silly if you listen to Pop. I will be the one, when push comes to shove, no matter what happens when you’re born, I’ll show you nothing but love. Because I will be there for you day in, day out, rain or shine whatever the weather. I’m telling you this because when I was growing up, I didn’t know any better. I thought perhaps life is but a dream and my childhood was nothing but a nightmare. You might scare, away all the pretty girls with your brutal honesty and if I should have a son, you’ll be so modesty.

Now when you go to elementary, I don’t want you to be that kid in the schoolyard who thinks he’s better than everyone. You will be the best thing that has ever happened to me; my trophy son. I’ll pick you up and hold you high in the sky, and as the sun shines, recognize, that kid, you’ll always be mine. If I should have a son, I’ll watch him discover himself as he enters high school but word of advice, don’t do drugs it’s true, it’s not cool. I witnessed first hand how a student can go from a 90 percent average to not caring about anything and became a drug addict.

I was never good at sustaining a relationship so if your mother leaves me, I’m sorry but I’ll maintain you if, you promise to never leave my sight. I might be the clingy type but deal with it kid, I’m going to hold you tight. And I will never let you go, even when I get old and my skin starts to show, signs of aging, I’ll be watching you graduate high school, go on to college and become something amazing. But be careful, the universe has its ways of making life difficult. You’ll realize, as you get older that women are complicated. You’ll get heartbroken more times than you will fall in love, trust me I’ve been there kiddo. Sometimes you can’t always be a hero.

When the time comes and the universe throws you a once in a lifetime opportunity, accept it, no questions, especially if it’s a woman who loves you for who you are inside and out. Then you’ll have a job but be smart, don’t get into something you won’t like. Do what you love to do and enjoy life. If I should have a son, he’ll eventually get married and start a family of his own, and I will still be around to be a grandfather; wise and bold. Last but not least when I die so to speak, I want you to remember this, don’t think it’s weak. Stay zen and prosper, that’s my life’s motto son. It’s time to pass on the torch, you are the chosen one.